And the tag team champions are...

So this tournament? Easy money. Look at our first opponets.

Me. and Grimm steamrolled those two. the next two were Ryu, and Ken from Street Fighter they spent the whole match whooping, and hollerin, Me. and Grimm knocked them both outta the ring with one punch.



The next bout was with Pan. And Draculina, my old sparrin' partner in Vegas.


She glares. "I joined this little tournament to kill you beast!"
Mean while the thing had troubles with her little lover. Pan. ‘Aw whatta Revoltin' development this is! I don't hit gals." Grimm whines.

The one third saiyan grins. “I don't have that problem Rocky." She grins as she body slams him inta the ring. Me I got my own problems as Draculina bites inta my neck. “Gah!" she screams “Your blood it’s tainted!"


‘“Aw a lil' dose of Gamma Radiation to spicy fer yer delicate tummy?" I back hand the Drauklonian outta the ring pan Freaks out and turns Supersaiyan then the thing gets a great idea he thunder claps right by her ears. Though I should be a lil' mad fer stealin' my move.

But aw screw it, after a little rest Not that I really need it I'm the Hulk. We were ready for the last match against a kid that's the spittin' image a. Vegeta, and a tiny little girl that looks about 17 or 18.




“Grimm the one ya have ta worry about is the boy with the spiky hair, if the girl is who I think she is. She ain't got powers. "

“Well that's a relief because Aunt Petunia taught me ta treat the ladies wit' respect I don't wanna clobber 'em." Thing drones on

“That’s great." I roll my eyes he’s as bad as the Green Hulk. What sucks Is I Didn't pay attention ta the saiyan boy who smacked me in the face.
“Okay kid first ones free. " I grunt.

I keep punching at him and he keeps vanishin' Dammit this is startin' to annoy me.

The girl has some kinda weird metal gloves that actually stun the thing When she hits him must be Adamantium, yup that's definitely Batty's little girl. Grimm catches her. “Why can't I read your Body language?"
She groans.

" Prob'ly because I'm an ever lovin' blue eyed rock." Thing Says while holding the girl's hand with one of his giant mitts. " " Now missy I'm Going to set ya gently outside the ring, and." His words were cut off as she did some kinda gymnastic flip over Grimm's head twistin' outta his grip then she pokes him in the eyes.


" @!%&^% tricked like a blamed Yancey Streeter." The thing holds his hands over his eyes. While the girl I mean Batgirl looks like she's tryin' ta find a weakness she can exploit.

Me I had my own problems The Kid wouldn't stop usin' his speed. “Look pal! You're just gettin' me mad I'm pretty sure ya know what does so knock it off!"

He stops and looked like he transforms in to the 4th level. ‘Well I’ve been beat up a lot lately maybe I'm strong enough to take you!"

He punches my jaw so hard I see stars for a second. Next shot sends me inta the air. He appears behind me and smashes me hard into the ring. Damn it this kid is pretty damn strong.

The ref starts countin while the Boy is dumb enough to look inta the hole. " Hey Kid here's rock dust in yer eye."

While he's tryin' ta get that stuff out, I Let him know how it feels ta be a punchin' bag. I then grab his tail and use it, as a hand hold to body slam the kid inta the ring several times before I'm blasted in the face.

“Don’t touch the tail! Only Cass gets to touch my tail! Final Flash!" The blast ruined my suit, and messed me up good, I don't know if I can get mad enough fast enough to beat this kid, than again he doesn't seem to have his Veg Head's stamina, probably too much junk food.

Now if he'd just give me a second to heal we can start this fight up again.

The Thing tosses part of the ring at him the kid while ingnorin' his girlfriend. When the kid turns to blast Grimm I leap up and smack him towards the big dumb rock pile.

“Now my millions and millions of frantic fans are on their feet, because it’s Clobberin' Time! The Thing mouths off luckily he had the time to actually hit Veg Boy.


The two of us team up on him ignorin' the Batgirl Finally the two of us punch him outta the ring. His girl friend following' after him " yelling " Vincent!" Huh doesn't sound like a saiyan name.

They looked disappointed but Vince says. “Good thing you didn't keep fighting those monsters Cass no way you would have won.”

So me, and the thing get our belts, and money.


As I leave I see Vegetal. ‘So what is that kid your nephew or somethin,"

“Son." he replies.

Damn I already seen you had another daughter... man you’re going to hurt yourself making them all well I'm gone at Vegas. "

“You’re not stating for the Main Tourney?' Veg head asks.


“Nope I got what I wanted, a nice pay day." Maybe I’ll make I in time to hit the gambling' halls I think to myself.

New tag team

Yeah I know I ain't been postin' in a while. The Green idiot has been doing a lot of stuff that's left me away from a computer. Well I was gonna skip the whole Boudakai thing this year, but ya know what? the Tag Team money is just too much ta pass up.

But I ain't Gonna be teamin' up wit' saiyan kiddies this time oh no. ya see a certain superhero team has been hit hit hard by the finacial crisis. So one of thier members has decided ta join up wit' me ta get half of the money. And all ya other tag teams well your time is comin' And that time is Clobberin' Time.

Yup i know We've fought more than me and Wolverine but here's the thing , I like money and he needs money I think we'll work okay together. Besides we're two of the strongest people on the planet. we'll makke the competiton pee thier pants. besides I hear two sixteen year olds won it last year. So the competition musta went down hill since I was in it.

Ya know I woulda went into the single tourney but the green idiot would be out there Since it's during the day. If I wanted the place torn apart then yeah I would stay and let greenie there, but I'd like to actually collect my check after winnin; the tag tourny. so yeah other tag teams be afraid be very afraid.

I hate playin' sidekick

continued from here. Good thing

I'm gettin' paid for this. Trunks an' me are bein' treated like sidekicks by Mirai. Who's barreling into hordes a' demons. We have to watch his back.

“You guys keep up or I'm leaving you!" He growls.

We were wrestling Cerberus the three headed dog that protects the underworld.

"My sword isn't magic like yours." Trunks shouts “just normal metal so bite me!" The two of us knock the monster out.

"The strongest thing on the freakin' and I'm playing second fiddle to lavender fabio!"


Trunks grins “you think that's bad? If he didn't come back in time... I would have been him."

I roll my eyes. “Okay you win."

A new wave of demons goes after Mirai. I knock them all down with a Thunder Clap while Trunks blasts them way.

“Does he even notice he's bein' attacked from all these angles?” I wonder out loud

“No. When it comes to Vampirella he's pretty single minded." Trunks shrugs.

Mirai runs into this with this big dramatic entrance shtick knocking away some magic blade from a naked dude with his sword. “Heh looks like Vampi was a little unfaithful..." I laugh.

“Hulk! Pay attention to the demons after you!"

"Ah screw this I'm sick of all these freakin' mythological creeps they piss me off! No one will like me when I'm pissed!" I stomp the ground under us. Casuing a huge crack in between us and the denizens of Hell sink into lava.

“Yeah baby strongest one there is!" I shout.

“Yeah how do we get back?" trunks whines.

“Hey you and your other self can fly right? And I seen you're dad throw mountain sized rocks, so I'm pretty sure one of ya can carry me."

Trunks shakes his head “Mirai gets the hot vampire... and I get to carry the Hulk oh joy."

" Ain't no fun fer me either ya know what I can probably leap the whole way back ... how about I carry Vampirella, and you two can do whatever ya want?"

“Then I'd have to fish you out of the lava... So what are going to do while Mirai fights that Adam guy?"

I take out some cards. “Got any, money on ya?"

"Aw gambling? Sure why not? Texas hold'em?"

"Whatever game ya wanna lose at is fine wit' me." I grin. "Get ready ta be poor rich boy."

Looks like we're gonna be here fer a while.

Why do I take jobs from the Trunk boys?

I got back to Vegas after the whole SHIELD Red Hulk debacle. I'm happy to say me, and green boy tossed the Professor back into the dark depths of Banner's head. Though Banner is still around.

I'm relaxin' here at the office, after the job from an anonymous source. I'm pretty sure I know who it was since he paid me to chase down the Juggernaut, paint his armor pink, and call him nancy boy over , and over.

I know it's you Xavier. Don't worry you can pay normal price. So I was sittin' in the office, and two Guys who look about the same one with long, hair the other with dorky hair cut come into my office.


I roll my eyes they both got lavender hair, and tails Vegeta's sons. “Hello Joe." the youngest one trunks he calls himself. smiles.

" Whattaya want?" I growl.


Mirai sneers. “We’re going to Hell to save Vampirella. We'll pay you your normal fee, plus expenses. You in or not?"

“Hmm Hell?" I think about the other job I got is to hold down the Rhino so the Vault guards can spray him wit' soap and water. That's its own special kinda Hell.

“Alright Trunk boys I'll do it." I grin.

“Please don't call us Trunk boys.” Mirai states.

“It’s either that or Girly, hair, and Girlier hair." I mean seriously look at 'em. Ya can tell they both got there looks from there mother.



“Trunk boys it is!" The younger one shouts." Mirai glares. “You’re jealous of what I had with Vampi aren't you?"


“Who aint?" I ask. We take a transport plane. And the boys. Give me a low down of the situation.

“So this imp tells ya the only way to get to this Hell is through a mirror, and ya believe 'im?"


“Cabain wouldn't lie." Mirai gripes.

“Reaper maybe not, but the imp could be. Maybe we should visit Dr. Strange..."

“There’s no time!" Mirai shouts." You're just muscle we didn't pay you to think!"


Okay then. Yeah this is gonna be a fool's errand. We fly to Dracula's castle, at guess what freaking California. There go all my preconceptions. We step out, and it Halloween early as a gaggle of vampires swarm us.

I swat knock a few away with a thunder clap while the saiyan boys blast a few others try to bite me, and break there teeth I stomp their heads. “Well that was a nice warm up." I grin.


Mirai smashes in the door, and after we run through a few corridors we find the, man himself.

He tries to talk us. “I am glad you have come.... We can go about saving... What are you doing? “Then the Trunk boys jump him, and people call me angry. All the sudden some red thing with tentacles attacks



“By the Dark One!" Dracula yells fearfully. "Lilith has unleashed that thing to stop you from saving my beloved! It's too powerful none can withstand it."

It starts wrapping around me with those things " Aw hell no!" I scream using my strength against it starts laughing.


“Fool! I can feel great power within you! But I eat power so just keep madder, and I'll become stronger!"

Dammit! I ain't goin' out like a funny color haired Japanese school girl! I ...I... I...

The monster Gasps. “Your power, it's surging what? What is happening? Your color it's changing!"


“Puny tentacle monster... You may be strong but no one is as strong as Hulk! Hulk will smash Puny Monster!"





TBC

Robots and Red Hulks

She taunted me with the Death of Caiera. Two Hulks came out of Banner's psyche. They became one. I fought in the arenas of Sakaar. I defeated the Red King. I was called the Green Scar. And this puny cybernetic woman thinks she can just get away with trying to torture me.

She screams, and begs. "Ah, so now that you're fighting me in the real world it’s a whole different tone isn't it freak!" I grab her by the throat.

She suddenly turns." Thank you foolish Monster! Dr. Kate Basil was keeping me locked away from too long, her fear allowed me to free myself. Now that you have served your purpose you will be terminated!"

Her hands turn into metal claws, and she tears into my skin. After I let her go she blasts me several times. Leaving big holes in my body.

“That’s the problem with Banner..." I growl. “Banner has always been a sentimental fool. He thought he could save ya. I know better. Year a monster like me. The only cure for your evil is to kill both of ya."

I punch her out through the cell. “They thought this cell was strong enough to hold me? Ha!"

“You will be terminated!" The robot screams. She smacks my jaw. She tries to snap my neck I thunderclap knocking her away. “All the wounds she gave me heal.


I was about to finish her off when the Red Hulk grabs me from behind. "Time to kill you Puny Banner!"

The robot laughs. “Looks like you're busy I'll leave you two alone." The TX gets away into the night. Damn the Red Hulk has pissed me off for the last time. I break his hold.

"You're actually fighting back? After the ass kicking I gave you last time?” Red Hulk Laughs.

“You didn't fight me the last time, you fought the dumb Hulk. I'm the Hulk that crushed the Sentry, and whose power caused Earth quakes all over the Northeast! Let's see you stand up to my rage you fake!" He didn't



He fell bleeding at this time SHIELD gathers around. “Good work Doctor Banner!" Iron Man claps me on the shoulder. "The Doctor is out." I respond. Slamming his ironclad face into the dirt. “Oh and you can take your Registration Act and put it where the sun don't shine! I'm gonna warn ya all. Leave me alone, or else!"


I leap as they fire their lasers, then I hear them screaming as they battle they fight Red Hulk. Serves 'em right.


A few hours later a skinny dark haired man is seen hitchhiking in nothing but torn pants. The people who pick him up notice the quiet man looks totally defeated. Dr. Banner thought all the Hulks were merged with his own Psyche, instead he may now have a third maybe a fourth Hulk in his brain.

He can hear them all talking in their different voices waiting for either the night, or for some fool to make him angry. He thinks about Dr. Kate Basil, and how lucky she is that she only has one dark half.

Hulk is Free!!!!!

Stupid Samson helped Puny Banner, and Smart Hulk Lock Hulk and grey Hulk in dark place. Now Smart Hulk wants to lock up Hulk's friends, dumb magician, and Shiny Man, Bird nose, Cat girl, and Sword Girl. Hulk doesn't think they can get Fishman,

Hulk used to be mad at magician, but Hulk can't remember why. Hulk is locked in dark place with Grey Hulk. Grey Hulk keeps making fun of Hulk. Hulk wants out.

After long time in Dark place Hulk sees girl, girl that is not girl, but robot, she somehow got into dark place. “Try to keep me locked up will you Dr. Banner?” Robot girl growls. “Prepare to deal with Dreamweaver."

Robot girl turns into monster.

She makes Banner remember bad, stuff. His father hitting him, and killing his mother. Him pushing Rick out of way of green blast that made Hulk. Betty dying. Finding out abomination did it.

Caiera dying and Sakaar exploding. Makes Hulk mad, and the Madder Hulk gets stronger Hulk becomes. Hulk smashes cell open, and runs at monster girl. Monster girl looks surprised. “The Hulk! Banner said you were gone!"

“Banner was wrong! No one can make Hulk go away!"

She makes monsters, and makes Hulk's enemies appear. She laughs. “All the things you fear Hulk! Cower before... Why aren't you afraid?"

“Bah!" Hulk shouts. “Hulk is afraid of nothing! Hulk is the strongest one there is!"

Hulk attacks monster girl, but Monster girl cuts Hulk with claws. We start to wrestle. Hulk getting stronger but she's still strong. “Hey!" Grey hulk yells. “Lemme out!"

"You are Hulk's enemy!" Hulk reminds him.

" No I ain't! Look you might beat her, but if ya lemme out we'll both defeat her quicker!"

" You want to keep Hulk here! So you can be in real world!" Hulk growls.

" I don't like the day pally. You can have it. I want the nights, lemme out, and we can put the Prof, and Banner in here what do ya say?"

For some reason Hulk feels pain in head, and Hulk get image of this fighting Smart Hulk.



" I don't know what you're trying to lock in that cage Banner, and I don't care! You're going to die! Maybe I'll let it out."

" Hulk it's that red pretender! Ya gotta trust Big Joe! Lemme out, and we'll beat sky, and then the Red Hulk!"

Hulk smashes cage! " Aw yeah Big Joe Fixit is back in business! Alright Terminatrix time to face the Hulk tag team!"

TBC

The Professor: New career.

Leonard Samson helped once again to reintegrate the various Hulk personalities. Since I registered, and have forced other so called "Superheroes" to do the same since it's the responsible thing to do despite my alter ego Joe Fixit using it as an excuse to line his pockets.

Fury had asked me to help with the freeing of Australia. But Iron Man made a better offer. “You could be the big dumb muscle man for Fury's campaign, or you can use your scientific mind in research, research which could save the world."

I have to admit he had me intrigued. “Okay Stark... I'll look into this but I swear if this leads to me being banished off planet... I'll smash you."

“One World War Hulk was enough believe me." He shakes his head. “Don’t worry I'm not playing any game."

He takes me to West City California, where I'm asked to take my Banner form. While looking over her notes I notice her I notice Dr. Kate Basil's Looking strangely at the two of the teenagers running around the house here, the other dimensional teen version of Tony Stark, and Wolverine's clone.

For a second there I thought I saw a hint of jealousy. I ignore it. And Confer with Dr. Basil, “So you have been trapped with the terminator robot for some time? Lucky you haven't been killed by one of these superheroes, until we can separate you, we’ll put you into a cage that not only The Hulk can break out of. There will be no technology inside and an electromagnetic field so she can't escape ... hopefully."

I took my real form to help build the cage a few miles away from the Legacy house with a few others watching. Probably to make sure I didn't go bezerk. No matter how much I assure them that the days of Hulk rampages are over they'll never listen.


The Hulk is Gone but the Puny Humans never listen. While I did this,
Kate talked to Logan with boobs.


I asked her after the conversation, if she was ready to go.

" Yes time to go."

I look at her, "Don't get your hopes up to much. It could take years to find the answer you seek... You may even not find them. For what it's worth.... I understand."

“How?"

I take my real form. '' All of the sudden I hear “LET HULK OUT!!!!!!"



“Did you hear that?” I ask looking around.

“Hear what?" She shrugs.

“Never mind."

gettin' paid

So I'm lookin' to get Heroslayer I faked bein' a superhero and lured him out Unfortunately I also broke Vegeta's kids car and had to pay the two girls with new cars to silence 'em. ,I'm takin ' that money outta Slayer's hide I can't wait for the Million dollar Bounty that luthor has promised. He kept usin' all these fun little weapons and crap that well they annoyed me.

I mean come on, if the military can't take me down what's some guy in a fright mask gonna do? Well I found out when he shot me with some kind of gamma gun. it burns and makes fall on my knees. " You should have never tried to face me Hulk! Now you'll die like all the rest."

Really who has this guy actually killed? A bunch of z listers and a sick Superboy clone? He's messin' with the A list now. And he made his first mistake , yeah the Gamma is hurtin' me , but it's also makin' me stronger it's like attackin' Superman with a sun lamp.

I thunder clap and knock loser across the horizon. I leap after him, and tear him out of his armor. " I'm gonna crush ya. Ya shouldn't have made me mad punk."

A voice interrupts me before I smash the loser. " Joe ? How much are you getting paid for this?"

I turn on the interloper It's Deathstroke. " What? You wantin' Luthor's Bounty too?"

" No last time Luthor paid someone it was all fake, but if you want a million here."

He throws me a suitcase. " Okay, and you're doin' this why?"

" Hero slayer owes me, and I always collect on my debts, and now he owes me even more to accept the money to leave him alone?"

I shrug " Yeah why not I'm in this for the moolah anyway. he ain't one of my enemies yeah have fun ya bought yerself a Heroslayer."

I don't know what he wants with 'im and I don't care i got my money so I'm out.

Needin' some money... Or Joe Fixit rides again.

Okay the SHIELD guys tell me that the vengeful personality that did the whole "World War Hulk" thing has submerged again, and are lettin' me work for 'em. Not that I trust Stark as far as Banner can throw him.

Here's the problem: SHIELD don't pay all that much. And really i'm still a freelance guy, And the bills have been piling' up while i was locked up in Gamma Base. I need some money.

Let's see what offers I got : presidential candidates want to kill each other: No.

Some people called the Dreadnoks or somethin' or other wanna kill take out Professor X. Well me and Baldo gotta deal now. I don't mess wit' him, and his buddies don't send me to another planet.

That an' Chuck is a good paying customer. So I ain't killin' off the hand that feeds me. Let's see what else? Ah there's a million dollar bounty on some chump called Heroslayer.

An' From Lex Luthor too, well now this'll be good. He's loaded. I bet this Heroslayer loser will be an easy mark. Heheheh.

A new Hulk

Stupid Banner makin' me refuse takin the Bruce Cain job. Eh then again it probably fer the best since Vampi's wuz hurtin' and it all turned out alright. But still work has been a little slow lately since the whole World War Hulk thing.

Take over one city and beat up the Illuminati and people get all pissy. Now you people enjoyed those gladiator games as much as I did, and come on I beat the Sentry for crap's sake! That punk's been needing someone to take him down a peg for some time now.

Any way never mind all that. I hear there's a pretender runnin' around callin' himself the Hulk. A red Hulk who ain't Banner, I mean me.

Look Red why don't cha get your own name huh? Because there is only one Incredible Hulk. An' ya ain't him! Ya don't wanna see how i deal wit' copyright infringement. i don't call lawyers I smash! So ya better hope I don't catch ya!


Stupid fake!

Fightin' Along side Wolverine.

So I found leapin' around like an idiot didn't find Wenidgo at all. And I guess ed If it was after Wolverine since it wasn't comin' after me. So I did what What most people do in a jam, I went inta an Internet cafe, and googled Logan's many names.


Seems A James Logan has a cabin out in Alberta, And there's been reports of a short hairy man harassing' the locals. When I leave I see people lookin' strange at me, huh. Ya'd think they'd never seen a seven foot tall grey man in a suit before.

I leap there, and find Fuzzy, Wendy and a babe all fightin' it out. Then I notice who the babe is that Ishikawa dame from the Oike Gallery in New York. Who knew she had those kinds of moves? the problem is Wendigo is tough. he kept tearing' me and Logan open.

And the chick while fast was startin' to slow down. We tired the Fastball Special, and I miss it. Lucky I get madder. Makin' me stronger, and I finally start hurtin Wendigo while Logan And Ishikawa stab'im in the back .


Then while it reels I hit 'im with a tree.

" Did that do it bub?" The runt asks.

The monster shatters the tree, and yells "Wendigoooo!"

" Nope."

Ana does Somethin' she calls Qi, or Ki, or key. And he's stunned. " Alright Logan let's try the fastball special again!"

" No way !" he growls "Ya missed last time on purpose And I ended up slammed inta those trees I'm gonna be pickin' splinters outta my teeth for weeks!"

I laugh. " Yeah I really did that on purpose, because i really enjoy Wendigo rippin' me apart that's so much fun."

" You idiots!" Ishikawa, grouses. " I can't hold him like this all day! "



I grab Logan and toss him. He goes through Wendy makin' a big Logan sized hole in his chest. Then Wolverine slams into the trees again. " Dammit!" he complains as I chuckle.

Wendigo is down for the count, and I call department H. threy come to secure him, but it seems Logan has called Dr. Strange.The Doc did some kinda mumbo jumbo and Wendigo turned back into his human form. Problem is the spirit is still wanderin' woods waitin' for someone else to possess.

Well don't matter ta me I got my payment for this mess.

A huntin' I will go!

Ok I'll just say one thing i wasn't one of the super villians that helped kill the flash kid. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. And yeah I beat up that annoyin' Kon-El but so what?


Now that I got that squared away. Up here in the Big Whilte North Of Canada is the last place i woulda expected to get a job. I mean I didn't come here by choice . Banner was just tryin' to get me out of civilization.

So maybe in a way I owe that Super Brat for getting' Brucie mad and lettin' me out.
Oh yeah the job, Something called Department H Found me after the incident, and offered me twice my normal fee to capture something.

I laugh and say I'm yer man until they tell me it's The Wendigo.



the green hulk fought this thing several times he's tough. Hell once Greenie fought him and Wolverine at the same time.

But ya know I jumped at the opportunity. Because the best way to show the world I'm better than that green doofus is to defeat his ol' enemies and' do it better. But ya know it's weird. After i walk into the woods I find he ain't comin' after me like he usually does.


Well when I say me I mean green Hulk. Don't matter I'm the same guy except fer the fact i gotta brain, so that slobbering drool monster should be after me by now. Then i start thinkin' no way .. could I be he's after someone else ? What a weird coincidence if that runt is out here too.

Guess Instead Of That big furry coming after me I gotta go after it. Well looks like I better start leapin' .

Black mask fixed almost literally

Yeah I know I ain't been that busy in while. It kinda has to do with two things, first That other personality of mine deciding he was going to hold New York hostage Startin' a war.

An' second I kinda been partying with Hercules a lot.

Poor Banner has been wakin' with strange girls an' hangovers heh. But looks like I need ta come back and make some money. What sucks is the first job I got was from a little kid, and it's beat up the Cluemaster, and find Black Mask if he's alive and torture him good thing I got half the money up front.



OK Cluemaster was easy a little too easy, he cried , peed his pants and fainted, so he got the message stop tryin' to take my client's kid. Next I ran around Gotham beating up gangsters and the like until I found out Black mask is back to life, and tryin' to take over Gotham's underworld.

I find his base go through a tidal wave of gangsters and bullets. You know ya'd think when people see that bullets bounce offa me and that all they are doin' is hurting their buddies that they'd stop shooting. Well guess what no they don't.

So a lot of mobsters got hit from "Friendly Fire. "

When I finally catch this girl torturing douche bag I see he's a rip off The Red Skull.

Of course he tries to shoot me, moron. I take him to a place I already set up, for this.

" What are you going to do to me monster?" He yells.

I grin. " I'm gonna torture ya. But I ain't gonna ta use drills , and crap ya did I got more imagination. Abominatrix come in!"


" Raaargh! You no order Abominatrix grey Hulk looking man!" She shouts.


" Yeah, but I wanted ya to meet yer new boyfriend. "

" Snoo Snoo! Snoo Snoo!" The ugly freak shouts.

" She doesn't mean what I think she means?" Black Mask cries.

"Yup!" i turn on a radio with Bon chiccka wow chicka wow music going. While Aboinatrix starts singing, "Abominatrix been feeling fine baby!"


I took a picture when the ugly green thing crushes his ribs, that oughta get me my money As fer the rest ya can't pay me enough to watch what Abominatrix is gonna do to him. If he's lucky he may just get outta this with a crushed pelvis. If not she 'll tear him apart

I don't care either way. Mai Tai's at the bar are on me!

Stupid Greenie

After the Green Hulk Left the Saiyan place. I woke up in a desert. I thought It was Nevada or somethin' and was pretty glad I could just leap over to Vegas, Until I found There was more desert than there usually is when I'm in Nevada.

I later discovered I was in the freakin' Sahara. And then the day came, and I woke up in Latveria. Yup the same Latveria that Doc Doom rules. He wasn't too happy ta see me since last time he saw me and Vegeta captured him after bein' paid by Reed Richards.

So I escape, smashin' most of Doom's defenses, and end up leaping to an area where it's Day time Next thing I know I'm In Antarctica! Damn it! I would get a map for that green moron, but I'm afraid, he'd fold it up , and wear it as a hat.

Gah! How do I get back to Vegas from here?

Hulk Smash Puny Monkey men!

Stupid Capeman! He made fun of Hulk! Told lies about Hulk! And Hulk smashed him good!

But then funny haired Monkey Men jumped on Hulk. They tried to to hurt Hulk but Hulk threw them off! Capeman is gone somewhere. What does Hulk care Hulk has others to Smash!

They try to use their strength on Hulk but Hulk Smashed though them! Then they start running so fast so Hulk Can't see them . And they start beating Hulk. Hulk Use thunder clap And they all fall grabbing there ears. All the rest of people in island try to fight Hulk They were stronger for a while But Madder Hulk get Stronger Hulk become!

One funny hair guy who looks like someone Hulk knows but is taller, and has funny Beard tries to command Hulk to surrender. " Hulk Doesn't know meaning of the word!" Hulk shout.

" So a brave one eh?" He laugh at Hulk.

" No Hulk Doesn't know the meaning of the word but big words will not save you from Hulk!" Hulk hit stupid beard face. Make him cry it was funny. Then these two show up.


" Graar! My family dead kill all!" Yell this guy in black, that wear thunder bolt design. Another one who is weird looking Monkey man Shouts. " You hurt Daddy I'll hurt you!"


These two make Hulk mad. " Are you two making fun of Hulk? Hulk will smash you for that!"

After Hulk beat them down, All the monkey men Blast Hulk. " You think Stupid lights bother Hulk? Puny Monkey Men ! Leave Hulk Alone!!!" Hulk crush ground some fall some fly.

One shoots stupid light into air, and something happens that Hulk doesn't understand, they all turn into big monkeys.





Bah! Doesn't matter! Hulk is still the strongest one there is. One of the big monkeys steps on Hulk. Hulk tosses him off , and grabs his tail. Hulk hits other monkeys with this monkey until his tail falls off , but then Hulk looks around, all monkeys are knocked out Ha! Hulk showed them! Them! And their ugly buildings! No One can beat Hulk! No one is stronger!

Hulk is tired of fighting. Hulk will leap off stupid island with funny hairs that turn into giant monkeys! Hulk will find somewhere that Hulk can be alone.

And now a little destruction

The big Black Bat hired me to cause a little destruction here on Saiyan island.

Saiayn Island kinda sucks. Except they kinds got some Ginger , And Mary Annes Though strangely some of the babes ain't really half bad lookin' once ya get past the whole tail thing.

Meh. I shouldn't just take in the sights I should be doin' some smashin' I'm big like some O' these guys get, so I painted my self flesh color and wore some saiyan armor. I set a few bombs ,on some the buildings they have there, when things start going kablooeyy the finally notice the I don't smell like them.


One of them knock me into the water, and They ae surprised at my grey skin when i come out. " Yeah well ya punks are about to meet the Incredible Hulk!"

I waded into them beating the hell outta them. yeah evreyonce in a while a few would over whelm me, but I'd just get mad, and knock 'im off. Yeah some Of thier blasts hurt, but I heal up quick, then somethin' weird happens I stop gettin' stronger, and start shrinkin'.

The last thing I see before Banner takes over is the sun risin' Dammit ! Not Now... What the? I see my self surrounded by a group of funny haired people. What has the Hulk gotten me into this time?

This Big man that all the others call king stares me over. " So this is the so called Incredible Hulk eh? A skinny mewling human, who's weakness is the sun? Pathetic!"

In my head I hear " Puny Funny Hair! Hulk Will show you to laugh at him!"

No I have to suppress the change! I have no choice but to become Fixit I won't let the other monster out too! Before I think of anything else The King Pokes me with his finger, and I black out last thing I hear is "Hulk will get you for this! Watch out Funny Hair! Hulk will Smash!"

Green Hulk is embarrasin'

Well. My business had been goin' pretty well, in fact I've been hired ta help out in the whole Saiyan Smashin' thing. Now i guessed that Greenie would get jealous, and try yto start his own business, but I didn't think it would be so freakin humilatin'. Here take a look at this commercial I saw last night.





Ugh! Guacamole head! I wish Banner would stop lettin' him out, and I guess I'm gonna have ta pay Spider-Man a visit in the hospital

Well Nightwing.

I guess I can't really be too mad at ya and My cousin Jennifer. Because well I just remembered something that the Green hulk when you were dating the first Batgirl.

Flash back:

" Oooh! Robin Would be so mad if he knew about this!"

"Bah! Hulk doesn't care what grown man wearing way too short shorts thinks!"

" yeah and the way That that alien whore Starfire looks at him who cares what he thanks! Oooh Hulk your so manly!"

"Hulk is manliest one there is!"

End Flashback.

Yeah I'd say we're even .

Meetin' with Stark

Gettin' in ta Stark Tower was easy enough . Most of the security was robots, An I know what they need , a good Smashin'. As fer The Sentry? i found him laying on the kitchen floor cryin' Putz.


I find Stark In his room with with has what looks like Clown Makeup allover his body. And he's on the phone with someone. " Yeah Ollie turns out the bomb was some kind of Joker thing. I found the young lady responsible and punished her justly. That's right Ollie a hard spanking. "

After he hangs up the phone he smugly gets inta bed.

I zap him with some kind of brain mess up ray Koma sold me. it works just fine since when I make my appearance he can't call up the Iron Man Armor, Or Shield. Hell he can barely move or talk.


" Well Ya know Stark, I should kill ya fer all the crap ya did a me with yer Illuminati buddies. Or any number Of things ya pulled during the Civil War. But don't worry You'll live to spread STDS. I'm just here ta give you a warning . Well ya see You and my client have a mutual problem one named Heroslayer."

" Whuuut abouuut him?" Stark tries to say.

" Well my client wants 'em found and dead ASAP we all know he;'s a SHIELD agent. So maybe ya can ferret him out. If not My client will release info that about your little war profiteering during the Civil War.Now how would your Pro Reg Buddies feel about that hmmm?"

He looks down in shame. I grin " So do we understand each other?" He nods. " Oh yeah I say before leavin' Think about how easily I got in here, before ya shoot somebody off into space again, believe me Ya don't wanna a war with the Hulk."

I leap off I guess only time will tell How Stark takes this.

A call from Deathstroke.

It's not often that I go to meet someone about a job but I was curious as to what Deathstroke the Terminator wanted. If it's take out Deadpool it's I'm there. So I wen into this big ass wooden "T" in New york and tried my best to ignore the giant pictures of his kids behind him.



"So Whattya wantin' me to do?" I start when this thing comes running in .

"ME no want to do this! Me cost you lots of money no like Joe Fixit!"



" Ok what is that thing?"

He sighs " That's Match. Go to your room now!"

" Me go to my room.

" How come he ain't goin'? "

" It's complicated. He'll be punished for this later. I was wanting to know how much would it cost for you to have a word with Tony Stark."

" Yer in luck, There's a discount for goin' after Stark. Let's just say we have history. So what's the word? huh?"