Bat Meme!

I'm just a little bored, so here's a meme from Here.

The first one is this.


An' here's another.

Overminded.

I got Vegeta ta follow me in on this last one.

I fought this Overmind guy, back when I was in the Defenders. Well greenie did.Guy's tough. But the two of us should be able to take him. He used his mind powers to hide out in plain site in one of New York's best hotels.

When we go in all the tourists and staff attack us. " The Hell?" Shouts Vegeta. " Out of the way Humans! Or suffer the consequences!"

I thunder clap knocking em all out of the way. " Don't waste yer time on 'em their just pawns any way. All Of them mind controlled. "

" Hmph!" He exclaims. " Let us get this over with." At the penthouse we find our target.



" Hulk! You and your friend are not going to take ,me In! " He declares. " They want to put me in that Negative Zone Prison, while some of the Thunderbolts get put in a Suicide Squad type team. And you Hulk . as as well as you Vegeta have given them their last members, Bullseye , and Venom."

" And ya know this why?" I ask.

" My Mind reading ability. I'll warn you once leave, and you won't get hurt. "

" Bah!" Vegeta declares. " You are the one who has to prepare to be hurt funny hat! "

Before he can make a move I punch him in the face, Damn it! He's in my head! As the Saiyan Prince is knocked away into the skyline from my shot, He puts the thought in my mind that I gotta kill him. Damn it!

Venom

Ya know I thought That the name Venom was familiar. Turns out,I or rather the so called "merged Hulk." fought him before.

So I was expecting a good fight outta this. But Venom looks different now. An' when I found him he was robbin' a bank. Boy how the mighty have fallen. I mean he used to be some kind of vigilante.


Now he's robbin' banks? That's just a big disappointment. " Yo! " I yell. " Hey! Evil Spider- Man! Yer gonna go back inta custody rather ya like it or not!"


He leaps over me. Dodges, my hay maker then webs me up. Ugh! I keep gettin' suits ruined this way.

Ugh! This stuff sticks worse than than Spider-man's stuff. And it tears my shirt pullin' off. Why do I even bother? Good news is the Bounty I get fer venom will give me enough money to get another one.

The problem is he slashes through my chest with claws. Man! This is gettin' a little tiresome. How many clawed guys are out there? " We don't know who you are Grey man! But You will pay for interfering with us!" Venom slobbers.

I notice the guy's voice kinda sounds like I heard it before, and I don't mean from Venom. Is there a different guy in this costume? Don't matter, I Feint a blow, that he dodges, and I catch him with a right, knocking him inta the bank vault.


He shrugs it off. "The last guy in who was attached to the symbiote, took punches from the Juggernaut!" He gurgles. " Your shots aren't even going to affect me buddy! No one short of the Hulk can hurt me!"


Heh. That makes me grin there. Given I am the Hulk. He leaps on me and lands a right cross on me jaw. Each punch after hurts a little less. Until I grab him by the neck and slam ugly into the pavement.

when he gets up I punt him into a teller's desk. I then pick up the vault door he tore up and slam him with it. I laugh. " What was that about me not bein' able ta hurt ya?"

She shreds the steel door. Kicks me in the jewels then starts webbing me in a
cocoon. The stuff starts gettin' in my mouth, and nose. Ok All this just gets me madder.

I tear through the gunk, and growl " Yer goin' down toothy!"

He looks scared for a second then tries to jump at me again. I thunder clap, and the suit starts meltin' and the guy inside screams.

" So That's yer weakness eh?" I smile.


" Kill You!" He mumbles at the edge of conciseness.

" Nah! But ya do getta free song If yer happy and ya know it Clap yer hands!" Thoom!

" Arrrgh! " Venom shrieks.

" If yer happy and ya know it, then yer face will surely show clap yer hands!"

Thoom!
Thoom!
Thoom!
Thoom!

All the claps. put him down. and the symbiote melts offa the guy Ah man! I though I recognized the guy's voice! It's Mac Gargen The Scorpion! So I was fightin' Venom lite.

While I shake my head in disgust. The oozing thing gets up and tries to attach itself to me.

I try pullin' it off that ain't happenin'. So outta desperaation I thunder cllap right in front of my face. I keep doin' it until the alien falls off and gathers in a puddle, at my feet.

That was too close a call. I call in SHIELD, and weirdly they let the suit rebond with Gargen, and before puttin' him in shackles. Eh what do I care? I got my money.

A lame ThunderBolt

Not really lame I guess If yer Deadpool or sumthin'. The guy in question is the Taskmaster.


His power is he can copy any kind of movements a person does. Like karate kicks, and stuff. So He can pretty much do all the stuff that Daredevil. Hawkeye, Capitan America, and others can do.

And he has the misfortune to fight me.

Everyone should pretty much know what my powers are by now, but in case yer livin' under a rock or somethin. I guess I'll tell ya. I'm strong real strong. Madder I get stronger I become.

I heal fast. Even faster than Wolverine. Also I'm pretty hard to hurt. I won't even go itna the ghost seein' thing. Ok so I tracked him down to his lair . Took down his cannon fodder students.

And we begun fightin'. Well Ya can't really call it a fight. he jumped me, used a bunch of chop saki moves. And he smacked in the face with his shield. Though he used moves from Captian America the shield was made of aluminum or something and dented on my face.

I knocked him out by hittin' him with my middle finger. Yup that was it all there was too it. A pretty easy night's work. It took about fifteen minutes . I think I'll spend the rest of the night in some casinos do some recreational gambling with the money I made.

I hope the next One I fight gives a challenge. Some mook named Venom.

Strikin' back at Deathstrike.

I gotta tip that she's hooked up with the Hand. Whelp I'm goin' there by plane in a route that's night the whole way So I don't have to worry about, changin' to Banner.

After the plane lands I get ta work, finally findin' The Hand Temple after a couple O' hours. And guess who I find inside? Yup Deathstrike.

" Who are what are you? what do you want?" She asks.

" Name's Joe Fixit ,girl. You gotta jail sentence waitn' for ya stateside."

" It will keep on waiting Gajin!" She screeches, slashin' through my chest.

" Aw man Another shirt one!" I say "Oh well I can buy another one offa the bounty for you!"

She cuts me a few more times. I knock her away an' start throwin' things at her.

" Ya can't slash me from far off ! But I can use my power at long range!"

She starts laughing. " You don't study up on your targets do you behemoth?" Her arms stretch out an' go through my guts. Damn adamantium. I grab her arms and Pull 'im outta my chest.

Then I slam her into a pillar she's nice and knocked out. Then a buncha ninjas jump me. Ninjas against me ? Yeah right! I rub them offa me , like bugs. All those swords, knives, and sticks, just annoyed me.

Then some chick In red threatens me.

" I am Elektra leader of the Hand. Leave now Creature, and you can leave with your life!"

I smile " Don't know who ya talkin' to do ya hon?"

" No. Apparently neither do you. Or you would know the Hand is allied with dark forces. This thing appears from no where a weird lookin' demon. It shots me with some kinda Hand blast thing that makes me feel all cold inside .

It then drags me into the shadows



Elektra laughs as the creature does Telling Fixit what it's going to do him, and his soul. Her joy turns to confusion , as the Monster starts screaming. She's horrified when it comes limping out then returns to the smoke from whence it came.

" How No one is that strong..."

I come out of there healin' from the demon damage. " I am I'm the strongest one there is."

The girl's eyes go wide as she realizes just who I am. " I-impossible." She mumbles. Deathstrike who just recovered tries to rip me again.

" What I can't cut you?" She exclaims. " But I did so a while a go."

I grin." I'm madder now. " I knock her out with my index finger.

Girl in red tries to sound threatening again." You may have won this time!But You have made powerful enemies, even more powerful than the monster you pretend to be!"

" Yeah yeah I heard that before Lady!" I turn an' all of them but Death strike are gone. well. I take Deathstrike to the local SHIELD office. I get my money,an' head for home.

Yup, 'm gonna be celebratin' with this money. I'll even invite Kristy to make up for missin' this wedding thing.

I gotta hole in my wall

I've been livin' by myself here fer some time , and I ain't gotta hole in my wall from myself or the normal fightin' I do. but Ya know I let Vegeta , and that runt Logan stay here durin' the their time In Vegas the race.

That was a mistake that caused the aforementioned hole in my freakin' wall. Looks like that whore Draculina sent the Trunk Boys after me. Ya wanna know what's up between us?

Well ok. Ya see The Vegas PD every once in a while pays me when a super powered threat shows up. Well I could never prove it but She was drainin' patrons at that skin bar of their blood.

Not that I really need legal authorization to take her out. Which I did . Problem is with those damned Draculonains they keep comin' back. ( I mean Vlad And your sister Vampi yer alright.)

Well from what I hear Vegeta beat his kids, and sent ' em home. I wouldn't know since this happened during the day. I had Banner on so many sedatives that ww3 couldn't wake him up.

Hey he knew the rules quit tryin' ta cure himself , and he gets freedom. Well he violated ' em and now I don't let 'im have freedom. Well I here Wolverine was useless as usual. The runt slept 'till noon.

So I get vegeta ta pay me back by helpin' take down the last of the Thunder bolts after he gets outta the race.

Fade to Grey

When last we left The incredible Hulk in Kodiak's blog the emerald man monster was recipient of a punch so mighty it rocked the town of Vegas The Hulk was knocked into space then he crashed to the planet creating a huge crater.

Watch True believers as The Hulk gets up in a rage, but then he notices The sun set.

" No! Not fair! Hulk wanted to smash Him. Not...."

The behemoth falls then transforms into The smaller , but meaner Joe Fixit.


" Man I don't know what Kodiak's beef with greenie, But when I beat That mutie, People are gonna stop comparing' me to Salad Brain. "

I leapt around the city 'till I find 'im . " Hey Red ! Don't look now! " He turns. " I said Don't look now!" I plow intro 'im with my feet.

He slashes my chest. " Hulk is that you?"

" What? Just because I'm grey , and have more than a ten word vocabulary people just assume I ain't the Hulk. Here let show ya I am. " I unleash a haymaker on his jaw that lands him, on some billboard That has this kid eating cereal.

He the thing he hit was the spoon part, and it bent back and flipped him across skyline into a fountain In front of a casino. He spits out water and replies " Yup your the Hulk alright."


I jump in an' put his head under the water. He gets bigger, and tosses me off . He charges me I duck a clothes line , give him a shot in the ribs . His massive forearms grab my neck, and he starts chokin' me out. I pick him up and suplex Kody into a car.

When he gets up I poke one of his eyes with my index finger while he's recovering I elbow him in the head. As he gets to his knees I kick him Makin ' a huge trench through the strip.

The big man heals. " What the? He's somehow tricky all the sudden? I guess that more than his skin color changed. "

I jump Over to him. " Ya got that right sucker!" Too bad for me He sinks his claws into my gut. It'll take a second to heal, less if I get really mad. Still I gotta He ain't gonna give me that second.. I tear a A hole into the pavement and fall into the sewers beneath.

He follows me. " Hiding? This isn't like you Hulk!"

" I aint't hidin' I just wanna show you that gas mane!" I pop out behind him and toss him into it. It explodes just like I counted on . I crawl out into the night. I notice a bunch O' clouds are blocking out the moon. Great That means I'm gonna get even stronger and have less of Banner's wimpy influence. Well that and I'm pretty ticked. I heal almost instantly.

Kodiak springs out of the hole Healing from the third degree burns. " I'm going to kill you!" He screams. He grabs my hands Then we're in a classic test of of strength. He keeps getting bigger, but When he actually gets strong enough to hurt me I get madder , and match him.

We're doing this for thirty few minutes, when I finally just decide to knee him in the groin. While he's howling I say. " Hey Looks like ya need to put some water on those wounds of yers. How about I send ya over to one of my favorite watering holes? "


I punch him into a strip club I sometimes bounce for. When I find him his wounds , and burns are gone. He grabs me by the neck and it looks like he may break it when he notices all the nude women around him.


This distraction is all I need to grab his face , and toss him through the roof. He lands just where I want him the construction site him , and Gucamole Skin fought at earlier.

Kodiak, Tosses a crane at me. The heavy machinery crumbles burying me. Now most people would either be dead or trapped. Most people ain't the Incredible Hulk. I bust outta the wreckage, with a wrecking ball on a chain. The machine had on it.

I smack The giant with it in the face a few times. He catches it, and crushes it in his bear hands ( That ain't a typo just a bad pun.) I realize what comin' next, and I roll with the blow. Leaping backwards into to the perfect position.

" Alright Red ! No more playin' now I'm just gonna stand here, an' the two of us are gonna slug it out! C'mon ~! Whattya waitin' for? Chicken?"

That got 'im he roared and ran at me with a full head of stem, To bad I side stepped hit him in the back Of the had , and knocked him just where I wanted him.

" What what is this? " Shouts Kodiak.

" Wet cement ." I grin. " Gettin' a sinkin' feelin' there Kody? Well I guess you'll be at the bottom in a few minutes. Then as your strugglin' It'll start to harden until your in a rock coffin. Give Jimmy Hoffa my regards. "

As his head goes under I laugh. Than I realize nobody's payin' me for this. Damn !

Santa Hulk is jolliest one there is!

Hulk decided since Doom wants to dress like Santa , and cause trouble Hulk would dress like Santa, and give kids toys.

Hulk not sure why people Hulk knows wahave turned into little kids, but Hulk will give them presents anyway. Though Lil' Iron Man will only get coal He's been really bad this year.


Hulk wonder why Cousin Jennifer is crying. Probably because she got turned into little kid. Hulk Is not sure that Claw Man is really turned little he was pretty small when Hulk first met him.

Hulk wish you Happy Holidays.

Bringin' down bighead.

I wake up with the Leader's Grinnin' lima bean head glarin' at me.

" Your not the Hulk I was expecting."

" Well Big green an' stupid couldn't come out an' play Leader. Ya got me instead."

" Well maybe this could help with my plans ." He leers " You'll at least know that there is no hope in struggling against me , while your Green Counterpart Would stupidly rail against me."

" Well I guess I ain't as smart as you thought I was Sterns. Because I'm about ta crush ya into jelly."

He puts his hand up in a "stop " gesture. " Look at us we were both created by the Gamma ray, we should not fight we should both rule over the inferior humans."

I laugh at that, " Yeah well I'll tell ya somethin' I have the power to get what I want already. "

He looks shocked. " That stupid building, and the women you sully yourself with are all you want? Surely you jest."

" Money ,shelter , Women, clothes , respect. That's all I need. Not all of us are megalomaniacs like You Leader."

" So sad ." He shakes his head " Unlimited power but so limited by your imagination. I will give you one more chance to join me willingly my Gamma brother."

" I ain't got no Brother. The only family I need is my cousin."

" Well it looks I'll have to force you." he pushes some button. And this massive pain Starts goin' all over my body. " I will break you Hulk!"

You'd think after all this time He'd figure it out. Pain just gets me mad And the Madder I get the stronger I become. Including' my healing ability. Finally I feel this Explosion inside And the pain stops.

" Impossible!" he shouts. " Your healing power destroyed my control device. "


" An' your Next!" I growl.

Then he shouts somethin' that confuses me. " Harpy to my aid!" Next thing I know I'm blasted from behind I turn to see her.


So Bubble brain turned the Betty Clone into a Harpy? Well isn't that special. She blasts me again. " Not even you can survive my Hell bolts! You should have bowed to my Leader."

" Sorry he ain't my type." Now this sucked. She had the range and the blasts so Ok these things are Gamma powered meaning they hurt. Then I see something I need lead shielding from a chamber where Leader conducts his experiments.

I tear a piece of it off and toss it at her. Her first instinct is to zap it which does nothing she's then smacked by it. I jump on it and wrap it around her body to prevent anymore " Hell bolts."

Again. I'm blasted from behind this time by some doo hickey The Leader Came up with. " You don't deserve the power of the Atom Banner ! So now I take it from you ! "

He was suckin' out my Gamma radiation. I was getting weaker by the second. No! No way! Am I lettin' Banner be rid of me! I charge the Leader, and by the time I get to'im I'm crawling my skin turnin' pink.

" He was putting the power into himself he was growin' lookin' all weird. " The Power The Power" With my last bit of strength I break the machine Knockin' Leader into a bunch of other tech it explodes somehow the gamma energy goes back into me .

My skin is back to healthy Grey. I'm about to leap out When Harpy screams. " Hulk! The computers you smashed their causing a chain reaction! The whole base is about to explode! Save me!"

" Why Should I?" I ask.

" I can make you feel good, just like last like the other time Please!"

I snort . " Sorry lady! I ain't into green bird women with Banner's dead wife's face." I leap out of the ceiling and away from the place before it blows up to High Heaven. Damn ! I don't know where I am or how I'll get back to Vegas. Looks like I better start leapin'

The Defenders?

Well I'm makin some progress in catchin' The so called Thunderbolts.I caught this dork the Porcupine, well how can ya miss the guy? When he's wearin this?

He shot spikes at me that just bounced off my skin. I knocked 'im out with my index finger. Next up was Doctor Octopus. Now this guy I don't like.


Ya see sometime back He beat up the prof with Adamantium arms. Now why the Professor Hulk didn't just grab on to one of the arms an use him as a yoyo, I don't know.

Well today I took back the reputation of the Hulk. He was bragging about how he got adamntium arms again, and how they were unbreakable. He wraps around me I then punk this loser.


"You know now that yer arms are unbreakable, that just means ya can't get away! "

I leap over the city. That's the thing about New York that 's different than Vegas, In Vegas they'll be gawkers are betters or somethin' But here in the big Apple the superfights aren't worried about unless they get near someone.

So no one notices the big Grey man with a fat octopus attached to him leapin' by. He lets go An' I grab the arms " Aw we aint done yet Octavis." I land on top a The Baxter buildin'. And I spin around like I was a fair ride or somethin'.

After he throws up he sobs he surrenders.
" Yer dang right ya do pal " I gruffly say As I tie him up to a flag pole with his arms. Upside down.

When I get my money I see Wonder tickling Doc Ock as other SHIELD agents try to get him outta the way so they can arrest Ock. Look I whisper in the Black Widow's ear " That guy needs a girlfriend." Before leapin' back to Vegas.

I see I got several job offers while I was away, that and some reports on the where abouts of some other Thunderbolts. Looks like The Punisher took care of Jack O' Lantern, and The Jester. Pfft those two were posers anyway.

The church wants me to kill the Magdelena? Uh uh I ain't a hitman. Especially not of the few people who treat me like I'm somethin' else besides a monster.

Here's an interestin' one Prof X wants me to collect some money from the Henchman. Hmmm I might just do that. Then this blindin' light surprises me. Outta it jumps Doc Strange.

" My Friend you are needed!" he states melodramaticly.

I snort "Ya got some nerve pal. Ya send me out into space then pretend we're friends?"

" He seems hurt... " It was for the greater good..."

" No! It was because you fools were self righteous, thinkin' I was some kind of danger so ya take me off the game board! That you Stark, Richards, Namor and Xavier think of the world as."

" Look you've reconciled with Professor X You can do so with me as well, or not but your needed The Defenders Are once again called into action!"

" Like I'm goin' any where with you two so ya can stab me in the back again? No way!"

Strange shakes his head. " For what it's worth, Namor was against sending you into space."

"Who's goin' to stop ya from betrayin' me again eh?" As in answer The Silver Surfer, comes out of the portal " I will." He states.

I 'd heard Surfer was Galactus' Herald again. If he left the big guy it must be serious.

" Ok but if there's any funny business I'm tearin' all three of ya both apart." I can't believe i'm doin'' this but I go into the portal with my old teammates .

First Thunderbolt: Brolly

After his little sicko attack on that Bra Kid, and her boyfriend Brolly wasn't that easy to find. He crawled somewhere to heal I found the jerk in West City, at the Crime Alley Bar.

He was in a room on the top floor. Some waitress massaging him. No accountin' for taste I guess.

" Who are or what are you Grey man? " He utters. " The name's Joe Fixit. An I'm bringin' you in."

You and what army bug?"

Next thing I know a shot that would tear a normal person's head off knocks me outta the building. The problem is it just makes me mad. The Madder I get the stronger I get.

I land on my feet, and leap straight into him. My fists landing in his jaw. He falls back on a car crushing it. " That almost hurt." he laughs.

He charges me and clotheslines me in to a building. He starts trying to crush my head in his hands. I kick him in the groin. While he's clutching himself I knock him into the sewers underneath the city.

He fires some big green blast at me that explodes around a gas mane, the Hell. That engulfs me . I'm half burned into a crisp.

" Pathetic!Too bad you are not that Hulk creature I've heard so much about a creature called the Hulk on this world too bad your not him now that would be a fight."

This gets me riled up real good. " Stop comparin' me too him! I hate that!" My anger heals my wounds. I slam into this punk and knock him into the the city skyline I jump after him.


Half way too him I'm blasted by another stupid green energy bubble. " Well you made me bleed. Good for you." The sicko laughs. " That's an accomplishment. Too bad it made you sick you look a little green"


What the? I'm blackin' out he didn't hit me that hard. Puny Grey Hulk. Thinks He's strong. But Hulk is strongest one there is. Hulk glare at funny hair man. He look surprised at Hulk.

" You've changed creature." He tell Hulk. " I get it you and that grey buffoon are both The Hulk huh?"

" Fake Grey Hulk is not Hulk Funny hair man ! Hulk Is Hulk!"

" I see. You've turned as stupid as I used to be. Too bad now I'll kill you easily! Oh by the way my name is Brolly not funny haired man. "

Talk Talk talk. That's all people ever do to Hulk. Words confuse Hulk. " Hulk doesn't care what your name is Broccoli! Hulk Will Smash ! Bad man for trying to do bad things too Hulk's little friend!"

He giggle at Hulk. " That whore Princess? Bah ! That was my revenge on both the royal Family and Kakarot! Too bad I didn't win that Slut! She looks like she can bend all kinds of ways!"

" Stop talking about Hulk's friend! Hulk will shut you up for good!"

Hulk grabs him by the neck he breaks Hulk's grip and punched Hulk's nose. He then kick Hulk in tummy. Hulk hit him back hard he go through puny human big house called sky scraper Hulk thinks.

He fires big green ball of energy. Hulk slams his hands together in Thunder clap. Big ball fall apart. " impossible!" cries Broccoli.

Now it's Hulk's turn to laugh. " Hulk Can do anything!" Hulk yells. Before jumping on funny hair man Then Hulk smashes him real good. His bones crack and he cries Now he knows He's not stronger that Hulk No one is.


I wake up and the whole freakin' area looks crushed. Brolly's all broken up and bleedin' I musta done this. Though I don't remember it. A light suddenly blinds me.

it's SHIELD craft they manacle The saiyan and put 'im in some kinda cryogenic chamber. " Good work Fixit." Says some agent I've never seen before. " Here's your money."

" Wait where's Fury ?" I ask.

" He's been put away for a long time after beating up the Black Widow, Though Since Mr Tony Stark is getting better Well Agent Mirai Trunks seems to be sponsoring him to be our next director. And It looks like he'll get the job."

Iron Man Director Of SHIELD? That ain't good news for anyone.

Civil War party.

I 'm here at this party, when somethin' happens. I don't know if it was the music or what but somehow I can feel another Hulk personility trying to take over.

No......

must resist......

Too late.......


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

HULK DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Destroyer put down.

When I finally get to New York. I find the Destroyer beatin' the Hell out of the Red Vegeta. Good that punk was needin' it. I smack the thing offa' him. They get away like villains often do.

So here I am with this thing well it don't look like it knows what to think of me so I toss a car at it. That gets the desired response it blasts me. "Oh man !" Yell " Not another one of my suits!"


I hear that distinctive "Snikt!" Of Wolverine's claws. I turn " Ok whattya doin' here?

" Ya know Bub, ya really shouldn't wear suits in a battle." he growls.

" " yeah I don't wanna look like a skunk like ya do all the time. " I respond. " So whattya gonna do to the Destroyer? hairy, and short all over it?"

" Yer a riot Hulk." he runs up an' slashes the armor. And The armor kicks him through a jewelry store. Ok my turn. I punch it through a couple of sky scrapers. It charges me and lands a punch on my jaw cracking it. It heals .


But it does make me mad. Really mad I knock the suit into the street. It comes back up behind me and blasts me in the face. Then it slams it's hand in side my chest. I fall down.


At this moment Logan decides to be stupid again. And jumps right in front a of blast, from that visor thing on it's face. It does this too him Though I don't know how.


I laugh " You know that's a good look for ya there Logan. Ya look a lot better. "

The Destroyer turns I spear tackle him. It knocks me off then it suplexes me into a bus. I grab the street beneath it's feet. And pull it. makin' the thing lose it's footing. I then use the pavement in my hands to pummel it .

The Tin can gets up and opens it's visor perfect. I grab it and close it before it it blasts. The Destroyer collapses. Wolverine (still with half his skull exposed)sort of hobbles over to me.

" So bub , what are ya gonna do with that?"

" Don't worry freak face." I retort. "Xavier just paid me to stop it , he didn't say he wanted it. So I'm keepin' it as a trophy. "

I wrap it in metal of a car, and start leapin back to Vegas. Man this gonna make one ugly , but cool decoration.

Later when the sun comes up and Fixit reverts to Banner. " Son Goku walks around the inside Fixit's Penthouse. " hey Joe are ya here? Wanna spar you see I got this big fight coming up and woah!"

At the sound Of Goku's voice the Destoyer wakes again.

TBC In Son Goku's Blog.

Gettin' ready to fight the Destroyer.

OK yeah I've been avoidin' Betty Banner. Also I've been keepin' Banner away from her by puttin' him in weird places like mountain tops , or in cages. I don't trust her I think it seems just a little weird that she shows up all the sudden alive After Bein' dead? c'mon.

O' Course Kristy ain't believin'' the fact I ain't Banner. Yeah we share the same body but I am not that weak panty waist. I don't need him but he needs me . Because with out me he'd be hiding under a bed cryin' about how mean Daddy was.

Any way I was in my bulllding' when I get this phone call. It was surpisin' that it turned out to be Professor X. I can't believe his nerve after being part of the group that sent me too space.

He made some excuses sayin' he didn't know what was goin' on in the room, It was all Reed Richards' doin' all that. I'm tired of hearin' it after all this time. I ask the prof. " Whattaya want?"

" Well Joe the Destroyer has just rampaged through my school. I was wondering if you could take care of it for me."

There are a few things that can challenge those X-kiddies. Well The Destroyer is one of'em. This robot armor thing, that needs a soul to activate it. It was made by Odin, to stop some Celestials, and the thing is a tough nut to crack. Even for me The Hulk.

I demand quadruple my usual rate, and he agrees to pay it. That shocked me a little ,it must be important for some reason , to him to take down the Destroyer. That's fine I kinda' like the "heroes " callin' me in to help with their problems.

I know they don't trust me, but they need my strength so for right now, They ain't gonna try somethin' like that again. Well as long as I keep the other Hulk's in check.

After the money appears in my Bank Account. I start leapin' to New York. I know I could have taken' a plane but it's faster for me to leap, and I don't have to watch any crappy movies. Watch out ya Hunk O' tin. I'm comin' fer ya.

My weird meetin' with Nick Fury.

Banner's havin' a great time with his girl back. But does he care that she comes outta the blue? Or that she's dead? No of course not!And this guy's supposed to be a scientist.

Well ant way, Nick " One eye" Fury wanted to see me about something. Well I get there and he's babblin' somethin' about the " TX" and ' " Tasha whoever the The hell that is.

The TX I know pretty well though. " If This is about Magneto's Love toy I'll thrash her again, for a fee."

" No she's dead! I'm gonna kill that damn Robot!" he answers.

" Ok then." I shake my head. "Look Old man ! You better not have brought me here to waste my time!"

Fury finally get himself together, and says. " Look I have to get Back to the Helicarrier, Dun Dum Dugan will fill you in on why we've called you."He then hurried runs out the door Ok I'm gettin' a little annoyed here.

Dugan walks in and opens a suitcase."These are the members of the Civil; War experiment called "Project Justice Like lightning." The escaped custody during a riot."


I laugh." So lemme get this straight you put a whole bunch O' villains on you payroll to capture heroes. When they do what crooks tend to do, escape. Now you want me to catch them right?"

Dugan sighs. " Look for each one of these guys you can track down , and catch, we'll give you and whoever you work with a fair price based on how dangerous and powerful they are. Does that sound good to you?"

I snort." No, You give me my normal fee, I ain't bein' lowballed."

" He shakes his head. " The least dangerous one will be twice your normal fee, Fixit."

My jaw drops. Dugan smiles " I'll take that look as you saying we have a deal Lad."

" Wait a sec. Could you guys do me a favor?" I question

" Depends on what it is Hulk."

" Well banner's wife Betty has mysteriously popped up alive could ya guys look into it for me?"

" What? Ok sure we'd be very interested to now how she pulled off that trick ourselves."

" Good doin' business wit' ya then." I grin.

Not her!

Big Joe is back in control again. And that's a good thing, considerin'that That Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator is right, it looks like the Other Hulk is touching Logan's crotch In that picture in the last post.
Yuck I'm gonna go wash that hand, in battery acid. On to more pleasant things. Kristy got a hold of me an' we were goin' out, well her darn sister had to go too. Tch! Fine.

the dinner went alright ' cept Karen kept lookin' at me diapprovingly , and askin' are you still taking money to beat up people ?"

" I dunno know girl. Are ya still datin' a homicidal maniac?" I sneer.

She puffs up " I'll have you know Cabain is now a police officer!"

" Ah so now it's legal for him, to be homicidal then?" Heh. That was a good one.

" Look here Fixit! " She screams. " You have his Father, as some kind of business partner. He's a lot worse than Cabain ever was."

I chuckle at that one. " At least he admits it, and doesn't care what anyone thinks about him, that I can respect."

Kristy kept tryin' to get us to stop fighting. As time went on . I tried ta get Kristy to go to my place Of course Karen, just hadda play chaperone. So we get there, and I get an unwelcome surprise.


" There's an old lady in your building." squeals Karen.

" Bruce who are these People?" Asks Betty, indignantly.

Karen looks around, " Where where's Bruce?"

Betty gives me the ol' stink Eye. " You didn't tell them did you Bruce?"

"Fixit, who is this?" questions Karen, tapping her foot.

" I'm Betty Banner, his wife. Ladies I'd like you to meet Dr. Robert Bruce Banner."

Karen gasps " Banner that's the name of..."


Kristy jumps up and down " Who? Who? Why won't somebody. Please tell me what's going on?"


Betty shakes her head. " Look Bimbo He's the Hulk. As in the Incredible."

Damn it! Stupid Betty First callin' Bruce then tellin' 'em who I really am. Why can't dead people just stay dead?"

I ain't joining your little war.

The other day I was minding own business for once. And Tony Stark, and Reed Richards show up , and start trying to recruit me. Of all the stupid things. These two sent me out into space , then ask me for a favor?

Well When I tell them where they can stick their offer. They attack me along with Wonder man. Richards bounces at me like a ball. I pull a lamppost out the ground and hit him away for a home run I hope he enjoys whatever country he landed in heh.

Meanwhile I'm fighting with Iron man , and Wonder man.

I crushed Iron man's chest plate, and gave a special message to the Old Hollywood dork.

So after I leave them broken, and bruised. I find my self a nice little place in the woods, where I can be left alone. But do People leave me alone? Nooooooo! Capitan America, And Wolverine have to show up and mess and try to recruit me for there side. And here's my answers to both of them.


I think I'm going To wait until this war's final battle, Then I'm going to crush the winning side. That way , no one will ever mess with me again.

Beating down a saiyan

Koma had appeared in front of Banner, and zapped him with a Gamma gun . He transformed into me. " Nice of Banner to stay at Xavier's mansion where I can find him, Are you the Hulk I talked to last time?

" Yeah." I mutter.

" Good,there's so many of you Will you help me save the Henchman?"


" Banner's messed up, and who said I was your errand boy Koma?"

" Oh no reason, it's just my friend is fighting vegeta , that's all." he answers.

" So?"

" He's been bragging he's the strongest in the Universe, since he beat Superman."

" Heh. Nice trying to play on my vanity. Alright Koma I'll bite. Besides that arrogant little alien has had a beating coming for some time now . Take me too him."

He opens a portal where I appear behind him. The super powered Napoleon was fighting demons, Koma appeared in front of him His little synth girl found The magdelena , and got her outta of some burning building.

Koma and the Veg head exchange some words, then He points at me and jumps through the portal dragging along Henchman, He'd better open me a portal back to Earth if he knows what's good for him.

I challenge him with "Your the one who keeps bragging he's the strongest in the Universe! Now you'll have to face the strongest one there is !"

He eats some kind of bean, and his wounds close up and he no longer looks tired.

the saiyan charges me while flying then unleashes a hay maker , on my face. I laugh " That it?" " I then show him what a punch should feel like . As I knock him out of the city.

I leap after the punk,and get blasted into the dirt. He lands all kind of kicks an d chops, and punches, I can't believe this.

" Your supposed to have beat Superman? What did he do? Slip on all the blood you were dripping all over the place?"


" Why? Do I not have my Power?" He screams at no one. " Wait ! That's it the weakling has It! Hey wimp! Give me my strength!"

Then his voice changes, " But I'm pain ting my ship pretty colors."

" The Hell? Give it too me now Or come up to Sky city and Take it!"

I ran at the nut I wasn't going to let this fight end because he decided to have a nervous break down. He blasted me I grabbed it in my hands and started pushing it towards him.


He shouted " I need all of my strength now you pale imitation of me Give it too me now !"

Then his voice changes again,." Okay fighting's icky any way take it ."

Then some kind of power comes down from a nearby satellite. He turns into that weird " super saiyan 4 " form. His blast increases in intensity, and Hurts Hulk. I mean me .

My skin is burned off Hulk heals pretty quick though. He flies at me faster than Hulk could blink. His punches crack bones , Damn it I let my arrogance over whelm me and didn't let myself get angry enough.

But Now Hulk Mad! He Hit s me with an uppercut that throws me into a mountain, it crumbles on me. He then unleashes more energy blasts. " Ha! Another one bites the Dust !" Yells Funny hair man at Hulk .

Argh! No I can't let him free... I want to beat him not Nooooo! Puny Fake Hulk, no longer in way. Funny Hair man laughs then says something like " Wait a second his power level just went up immensely."

Hulk breaks free of big rocks. " Funny hair man is strong but not Stronger than Hulk ! " Hulk tells him ." No one is stronger than Hulk Monkey guy , and Hulk will show you that ! Hulk will Smash!

I'm back or Hulk battle royal

For all the time That other Hulk was on that planet, I was repressed. I don't like bein' kept in Banners Mind, and I was goin' ta show this loser just how felt about that.

" Yeah that's right, I'm Big Joe Fixit ! An' I'm back!" I say at the green gladiator Hulk. I look behind 'im Onslaught, so that explains why I'm in the same place at the same time as him.

" I'm gonna take ya down! Then I'http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.spell.gif
Check Spellingll be top dog!" I challenge.

The other Hulk turns his back on me . " I don't know what kind of trick your pulling here Onslaught, But it's not going to work! I'm still going to smash you into bite sized pieces."

No one ignores Joe Fixit! I Punch him in the back. He elbows me in the nose.

" So your not just a hologram huh? Or maybe the crab man is using his telepathy to make me think your actually hurting me. Either way your going down fake boy."

" I'm as much the Hulk as you are buddy!" I say throwing a hay maker he catches, he crushes my fist then lands a shot in my jaw that throws me through a wall. " Ya just don't get it do ya. The madder I get the stronger..."

He interrupts" Oh shut up! Even if somehow you are Fixit , It doesn't matter We have the same powers , and I can madder a lot faster than you, besides I start off from a lot higher base than you do !You have no chance against me!"

He grabs me and puts me in a head lock. Then he moves his arms an' starts squeezin' my head. A voice that sounds very similar to ours " Is that any way to deal with is a part of us? Well your all just a part of me any way, and it's time I retook control of my mind. "

We turn to see the Professor Hulk.

The Gladiator Hulk let's me go " What is this? This is your life? Look On slaught throw all the aspects of me you want! It's still gonna end the same way me crushing your armor."

Prof. Grabs Glads, " No one can stop the Onslaught!"

Glads looks surprised. " Oh yeah Onslaught did use you as a pawn once didn't he?" Glads smacks Prof. " That won't stop me none of this will stop me! Your all fake ! I'm the real Hulk!"

A growl comes from no where. The the wall of the mansion is knocked down and, We're all shocked to see Salad Brain, comin, outta a storm.

" Your not Real Hulk! Hulk is Hulk! Hulk will smash all of you puny fakes!" He jumps on me first after battling for a little while I figure what's goin' on. Onslaught is makin' us all fight each other.

"Salad brain ! Stop it I'm not the enemy!" I yell.

" Hulk Doesn't Care!" he raves !" Hulk only cares about shutting fake Hulk up!"

Finally he knocks me down hard then he pounds Glads down"

Joe are you alright?" I hear from a puny Voice. " Banner! Why the Hell did Onslaught manifest you?"

" I'm not sure he did I think maybe Professor X did." He says.

" Then X is loonier that we thought. What are you gonna do ? cry on everyone ?"

Mean while Prof is raving to dumbo how he should serve Onslaught.

" Smart Hulk, may be controlled by red man ! But no one controls Hulk! " He then slams Prof into the ground. Then dummy is knocked down by something. After a quick battle I see what it is . The one hulk I didn't wanna see here the mindless one!



He glares at us all. Then let's out a huge roar. " GRRRRRAAAAAAAAA!"

We all get ready to battle. When Puny Banner gets between us . " Hulks! Stop fighting each other! It's him It's Onslaught who's trying to use all of us! Your always saying your the strongest one there is prove it! Stop Onslaught!"

Prof 's mind clears " Yes No one tells me what to do! Your going to pay the price of messing with me freak !"

" Hulk Will Smash crab man !"

"GRRRRRRRRRRR!"

I let out a laugh what are we waitn' for?"

Glads just says " This isn't over., but first let's teach crab man a lesson!"

Where's Richards?

I broke into the Baxter building. After smashing through all their defenses I find that rock brain Ben Grimm. He babbles "Wotta revoltin' development this is." Before I smack him through a door. http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.spell.gif
Check Spelling

He leaps at me through the door . " I was gonna leave the country but I guess I'll take ya out before I go."

He leaps right into my fist.

Thing gets in some good punches. Bit he's nothing compared to me I'm the strongest one there is. When I was about to finish, him I feel a force field around him?

" Okay Invisible Woman you might as well show your self." I order.

Now she's the one who starts acting all confident." Why are you here endangering my children Hulk? Your always saying you just want to be left alone. Why are you attacking our home?"

" Forget the posturing." I say. "Just tell me where your rubber man, husband is ."

" I wish I knew ." She answers." He's out helping Tony Stark with his stupid war. They're putting our friends in prison for not going along with the Registration Act."

What's a registration Act? Doesn't matter, so the superheroes are at war. I can use that. Then I hear this noise like Voip! I turn around , and see this guy in a hood.

" I know you from somewhere." I say.

" Of course you do Hulk I'm Capitan Koma

" Yeah I remember you. Fixit met you your Magneto's flunky."

He spits" "I'm no one's flunky. Look I know you have no reason to trust me, but I know your not afraid of me your not afraid of anything. I hear your after Xavier. I can give Xavier what do you say?"

" Your only wanting me to take down baldy, to accomplish some goal of yours huh?" He nods. " What do I care? I want my revenge so Take me to him."

I'm teleported, right next to him . Except Xavier was gone, It was Onslaught. I utter
" Hulk Smash Red Man."

"FOOLISH HULK! I KNOW YOUR MIND IS NO LONGER CLOUDED!"

" It was worth a try Baldy. I see you just couldn't take the stress of your little dream, not working out, or did something bad happen between you and the little catholic chick. Ya just couldn't take it anymore and you let Onslaught out to play again huh?"

This sick laughter comes from the metal king crab YOUR ONE TO TALK BANNER! YOU RELEASE A HALF TON OF RAGE EVERY TIME YOU STUB YOUR TOE! YOU KNOW I MUCH PREFERRED YOU WHEN YOU TALKED IN THIRD PERSON! BEHOLD MY MIGHTY HAND!

A blast hits me, it doesn't seem to do anything.

" Your getting weak in your old age Onslaught. Now get ready to get ripped outta your Armor Punk!"

Then I hear this voice behind me . " Ya ain't rippin' no one outta no where ya mook! In fact yer gonna get a whuppin' for keepin' me repressed do long!"

I realize that's my voice. What I see next is impossible. " Whatta ya lookin' at? It's really me ya poser Big Joe Fixit. An' I'm back."