It's vampire crushin' time

Trunks called me up ta the Crime alley bar. He said " It's time. " I don't klnow what changed da kid , but he acts less unsure, he's still arrogant but in a he can back it up way.


He also drinks like a man now. hwe was dowin" whiskey like no one business.

" You ready Fixit?" He asks me in a suddleny deep voice. " C'mon dere just blood suckers I was born ready. " We go ta this place where his little secratary has been dealin' wit' dese things. This one wit'really messed up hair . was awaiting fer her he got a surprise . After we beat on him a little while. He told us where

ta find the sister. We go to tha bulding, and find ourselves surronded by Undead.

to be continued in Trunks Blog.

Some new oppurtinities.

A kid who looks like Trunks but acts completely different asked me ta help 'im bring down some vamps . But somethin' happened wit dat and he lost 'em. But I think I can turn dis into an oppurtunity.

Ya see tougher Trunks guy had me meetin' him at the Crime alley bar in West City. I tink I'll make it into one of hangouts it amazin' how much info ya can get from de place.

Yeah what's better I may get me some new rich clients. And get some black mail on mobsters dis is gonna be good.

Fightin' the great Saiyadork

( Thanks to Great Siayaman for his responses.)

Gohan kicks in my office door And Shouts" I am the champion of Justice Iam...."
" Yer Gohan I say back to him, so what can I do for ya?" " I heard of you destruction of a neighbor hood I'm here to stop you and your evil." I had ta laugh at that one.

"Look ya've been watchin' to many super hero movies Why don't I..." He punches me in the face.

So here we are trashin' Vegas I'm tryin' ta atop this lunaintic before he gets hurt. Then he does it he uses a ki blast in my face I taste blood , and I get mad. He was fast and landed a bunch of punches an' kicks.

But The onesI landed though they hit lless hurt hm more that his did me. ya see I was healin' the whole time, And As the fight went on I was gettin harder ta hurt and stronger.

I trashed to cherry sports cars on his head I kind of regret that, dose were nice cars.he flies up an' strts yellin " Ka me ha ..." I'd seen this before and knew if it hit it would take out half of vegas so I thunder clapped windows for miles around shatterd and car alarms started thier annoyin' blasting.

His ears were hurtin' but he said " I can't let you beat me." " Why?" I asked " because ya want to join the Avengers?" " No you endangerd lives and destroyed property for money."

" An' what are ya doin' now huh? " I said . He jut growled at me his hair turned gold and I thought i knew what to expect but he hit me a lot harder den he should have been able to.

I few into a a swimmin' pool he followed me in I think he was tryin ta weaken me by drownin, me. I grabbed on to him gave him a bear hug forcin' all the air from his lungs after a few minutes he was out.

after gettin' outta da pool I checked his pulse, he was okay, an ' knowin dese saiyans he would be walkin' around in a few minutes. " ya put up a good fight." i said "but Ya can't breathe underwater I can. "

I left 'im there and went lookin' fer my hat.

Demolition duty.

Alright I gotta job! A company was wantin' this neighborhood. Ta get crushed. Tha Problem? da people dat lived there didn't want ta move. Well dere I hada a stroke o luck dat loser Wonder man was in da neighborhood.

He was signin' autographs An stuff so I got in de line took off my shirt and attacked. " what are you doing?" he yells. I don't even talk ta him I smashed him inta some buildings See I staked out da place . I knew which bulidings was empty.

I smashed him all around da place den finall y he starts fightin back . Dis Guy has some kind o confidence problem byt it seems like I set 'im off. I let him smack me around a little bit.

The people had gotten out of da neighborhood. So I let loose. II let my anger out and put down Wondy he was trying to get back up when I Thunder clapped his ears knockin im out. yeah da place was a mess. My clients got what dey wanted.

Don't feel bad for da people though ys see I charged the company quadrauple my usual fee. And Sent da rest to da peole so dey can buy mansions if dey wanted. THe company got what dey wanted I got paid De people aren't homeless. An Simon Williams? well He got beat up , but he got what he likes publicity. I hear he's getting an action movie. A job don't usually go did well where evreyone's happy.

disqualified?

I was gonna win dat tornament I was beatin' down thdat stupid Goten boy when I hadda get too mad an Salad brain came out a second. He kicked the boy in da junk. Ndat's it no more competions no more rules, no more fallin' outta da ring. From now on When I fight no rules.

I'm gonna beat on any one I'm paid ta or annoys me, I need a job one where I can beat down some mook. I have a lot o' anger ta release on someone!

Arrrrgh!

Stupid tag Tournament !Those two wimps the big hair bros. ( Yeah I know Vegeta and Goku ain't related. If they were that would make the Goten Bra thing sick, or sicker.)

Any way Vegeta's girl was taken out pretty quick by Goku. Which left me and Vegeta ta fight. I was doin' pretty good. Until they both ganged up on me. Thier chop saki moves and energy blasts couldn't cut it . So they tricked me.
And knocked me outta tha ring.

I guess they're proud of demselves, and thier shiny new tag belts . And da fact dey didn't even go up to dere hightest forms ta beat me . But now ya better watch out ya posers cause ya have no back up in da tourney anymore. An Joe Fixit is gonna leave wit' the second place tag prize and the first place solo prize.

this tag tournament is mine.

I got teamed with Vegeta's daughter and we one or way into da semi finals. Thet girl has gotta a mouth on 'er though. she insults me before we fight Not dat it matters she can fight. Beat some dork named gamcha or Yamcha somthin' like dat .

Now we gotta fight Trunks and Vampirella. I gotta say i'm not too sad . bout that. I For some reason Vegeta's son rubs me da wrong way, I can't wait to punch 'im in da face .

What's wit' all this snow? those wimps better not cancel the tournament. or they're gonna have a bigger problem , me.

Bringin' down Magneto

It was pretty easy ta Get into the Savage land Base, it was like a war had happened there. There were holes blown into it evreywhere. My partner came in behind me I took the brunt of the shots from the lasers Sabertooth jumped at me going face first. I Smacked him on the face , makin' him fly outta the base.


The Blob Came at me I said "Remember what happened last time, we fought I pulled your rubber gut out a few feet. He looked at me and ran well I guess it was runnin'.

Then it was time fer the main event Mags. he blasted us with metal Unfotunately for him his own power was thrown back at him . " Bishop! That's you under that mask isn't it? "

Bishop unmasked Magneto said "Now that I know it 's you I can, wait what are you doing Sabertooth?"

"Sabertooth" tore off his helmet " Now Xavier!" I yelled. Mags was All the sudden made stiff as a board. "It's over." said Bishop. " Not Yet it ain't." I said Cracking my knuckles . the fake Sabertooth turned back into Mystique


" Why Would you ally yourself with this gene traitor and this brute Raven?", " Looks Like i'm on the Winning side Erik." I was abot ta hit hi Mags when Bishop said " We can't kill him ." " what ? it don't matter I'm just hired muscle." I still slapped him in the face . So he got to go to tha Vault with a brand new black eye. Now I Just gotta wait for the tournament to start , if it ever does.

A little Fixin,

Alright Before I go to the Tournament, (if it's ever announced , or held.) I got one more job takin' out Magneto. but since Banner has been workin. on fixin, the blog, I don't have much time to tell ya, Right now because I'm about ta do go on the job now. Hope ya like the new color , It's closer ta grey I was gettin' a little sick of the Green talk to ya later.

idiots

Look at my opponents' blogs der killin' demselves traini'n fer da Tournament. Go ahead let em kill dem selves. Wanna see hoe Mr Fixit is gettin' ready? here it is.


Dose idoits are gonna be broken an' bruised, while I'll be relaxed and loose. dis is gonna be so easy.

blood sport

Alright Vampirella,Vegeeta , Goku , and Trunks keep talkin' about Sum Fightin' tournament called the Boudakai. I've been doin' sum research on it.And dis here weirdo usually wins.



I know a scam when I see it. Like Goku couldn't take dat mook wit his Pinky. That is why Joe Fixit is officially annoncin' his registration in tha Boudakai. ( That an ' the huge cash prize.) Get ready fer sum real competion, boys an' girls.

checkin' email.

Well Ive been taking a few days off aftetr da clone mess, ok I turned back inta Banner so today I'm gonna see what kinda email I got.

from Placebo Pharmecies. com Hello Joe would like a pill that would make your breasts larger and atrract mor e men?

No on both, delete.

From thar krazy cospirete@ goofball .commm : did you know Kfc doesn't use real chickens? They use gentically altered mutants that have no eyes or legs.


Ok I can do wit'out kooky mail today. delete.

I am the Prince of the country kakbakastan if you send me $1000 I will send you back ten million, You see my country is in trouble and I need your help

Here's the world's tiniest violion, and I'm playin' it now. Does anyone really fall fer dat ?


From Murdock Matt@ DDEVIL,.com

Hello Mr Fixit I undrestand you are a super hero.

Hmmm I wouldn't say dat more like a business man

Well I' ve been one myself froe A while now,

I know dat.

Any way I would like to help you, you see I Desined superhero costumes and would like to get into business with you.

Lawyerin' must be slow.


Here's a coustume I designed for Spider-man.



Dat explains it , an here I wuz thinkin' Spidey lost a bet or sumthin', No he' just din't want Daredevil ta think he didn't like dat clow suit, A word of advice Spider-man go back to red an' blue. Murdock would never know.

Well that's enough o' dat I'm itchin' ta get back ta work.

worst job ever

I had ta go ta the vault today the Guarsdmen hired me ta hold down the Rhino. I din't know what why I had to hold him down





They just said it was for his Kenobi treatment. I didn't know what that was. Then I found out hje don't bathe They washed him with a pressure washer, and got the worst possible person ta do it Son Goku.

Yeah he washed rhino and me cause I standing holdin' him then he went on a rampage. Runnin' around . Washing the gaurdsmen , other prisoners. evrethin' He telported out of the place and attacked the neighbor hood. Here he is washin' somone's house.


The washer was found outside a denny's wit no food in it . I dragged my soggy self and soggy money home . I;m gettin' more info fore i take a job from now in.

The last base And taggin'

Me and Logan had it ta the last base. There was nuthin' in it , All da clones were brain dead ,from the onslaught back lash Or so we thought. We Were settin' up the explosives when A big green version 'o me jumped me., And knocked out Wolverine.



I was gettin' a beatin' But iwasn't goin' ta let da green version a' me beat me me .
I got mad and fougt back. As da battle went I noticed the clone was gettin bruised alot , and not healin' So I started ta beat 'im harder.

At the last second I heard a snikt! And da clone fell dead. " Ya don't know hoe Long I've been waitin' ta do that." Said Logan I just sneered at , and set the explsoives the last base blew up real good.

Alright I got tagged By Vampirella .


If you were to ghost write Deadpool's autobiography, what would you name it?
Mr Fixit's better Than me I give up

If Simon Cowell were to ask you to help takeover France with Deadpool and himself, would you accept?
Yes den rule France myself.

On a scale of 50-100, with 50 being mind blowing and 100 being drooling the Nile river, how would you rate Bea Arthur?

Whut rating is gouge my own eyes out rather den look at her?"

If you were to appear on Deadpool's show, who would you play?
Joe Fixit Lovable Workin' guy who steals all 'pool's girlfriends.

List 5 ways to improve tacos.
Make em bigger

Make 'em stronger so dey don't fall apart in yer hand.

Make da sauce spicier

more meat

Lots more cheese.


Would you die for Deadpool?

Not enough money on da Planet

Do you find Cable's eyes dreamy?

No


Tag more 1 tmore person than the person who tagged you meaning if person A tags 4 people, you tag 5 and the people you tag, have to tag 6.

Why should I?

Sendin' out the clones

I somehow got stuck wit' Wolverine, on a mission to destroy more o' Sinister's clone factories Me an' him don't get along, infact we've fought each other all over the planet.

But today we did pretty well The first factory was pretty easy. Only a few robots guardin' it. The second one was harder. It was crawlin' wit brood. Me and logan put ,em down pretty easy. as we set tha bombs Wolverine yelled out." Hey look at this!"



there was a whole mess ,o Spider-man clones. " It's a good thing we're torchin' dis place." I said. " We don't need more Spider -man clones." After we blew dat one up. We looked around out side an saw mutant clones attackin' New York.

I was attacked by a clone O Sabertooth " I always wanted ta know how'd I'd do against dis guy." I said. He didn't fight like Logan at all he ran right inta my fist. I tunred around Ans Wolvie slicin, a fake Cyclpos. An enjoyin' it way too
much.

I was breakin' the circle ting in a Havok clone when Sinister's voice, came from on top ' building. " Tell me what do you get, when you splice Xavier And Magneto?"
" Into riddles now bub?" " yelled Logan.

" Look over there." , said Sinister. " Onslaught!" we both said at once. " Behold my mighty hand!" said tha clone we were blasted by a combo blast that combined telpathy and magnetisim.



Next ting we knew he entered our minds , and made us fight rach other .





" Now you shall kill each other for us!" Said the clone . I heard a voice in my head " Let Hulk out Hulk will smash them all!" " Yeah an evrythin' in a hundred mile radius. fergit it." I got an Idea I grabbed Wolverine an tossed 'im at the Onslught clone.

" A lright Fast ball special ! yelled Logan as he cut through the crab lookin' thing. Problem was he kept flyin' far far inta tha horizon he took several other Flyin'clones out before he dissappered.


Then o'Onslaught " exploded . Causin' A pshycic backlash it must 'ave been controllin' the rest . Hit all the clones I looked aroundthey were all starin' inta space I tink dey were all brain dead.

I went over ta Sinster, and saw he was meltin' I don't believe he's supposed ta do that. " Yer a clone ain't ya." " Yes you wouldn't think Sinister would risk himself would you?"
So I went lookin' around fer Wolverine I finally found ,im he was wrapped around a flagpole . " Hey sleepin, furry wake up we got two more facilities ta destroy if even the clones r gone we gotta make sure dey can't make anymore ."

Logan growled." Ya meant ta do that didn't ya." " I jest don't know my own power." I said " Ya know Madder I get stonger I get, Ya ticked me off tearin my suit."

He growled all the way ta the next facilty We blew dat one up , one left ta go."

My work is never done.

Trunks whined on his blog that he needs help wit' finding a relative of Dracula . Vampires are not my specilaty, but I know some one whose is.




When I found Blade He was fightin' Vampire clowns?




They where overwhelmin' him so I stepped in. I I picked up several and crushed 'im together. they all turned ta dust. Even Puny Banner would have no problem wit' killin' undead.

After I took down most of them Blade cussed at me " I didn't need your help, whoever you are! I can kill nightstalkers on my own." " Whut was that about? " I asked him.

" They were going to children's parties and feeding on them. Now why are you here?"

" Look tell me one thing an' I'm outta yer hair, does Dracula have any relatives? My Client wants ta know ."

" His son Alucard runs a club called Night Shadows in L.A."

" That's all I needed ta know here's ya sum money fer yer time ."

" Keep your money, If your 'client' will take out Alcurad that makes my job easier."

I went back ta amy office ta find Trunks Waitin' on me I gave him the info, and thought tha arrogant lil' punk would go away. But then he asked " want a little extra money?"


I ended up helping the punk bail out the X-men , Vampirella an, some chippie called Magdelena. The rest of whut happened, is over on Vampirella's and Magdelna's blogs.

Nothin' can stop the Juggernaut 'cept me

Alright dis pic is here because I called up ol Vegeta on a quiji board and he said to post a pic on blogger then use it on your porfile, We'll see how it works out. I found out .

Me and the kid were fighting the Juggernaut. I kept getting stronger as I got madder, but Marko kept gettin' bigger. " Ha looks like I'll take down two bloggers with one body. " Said Juggernaut. " You and the Green Hulk will die, I'll get more Status Than Dracula for taking down Vegeta."





I heard the rumors that Dracula was havin' some kind 'O Feud wit Big hair . And that the X-men found some kind Conspircy ta kill all the super hero Bloggers I didn't know tha two were related.

Super boy said " Wait are all you guys in like the Legion of Doom or something?"


Legion of Doom? No way those losers, can keep puttin' the JLA In Story books an stuff! We' re the NWO." Not the wrestlers. When The Professor Hulk was in in control, we heard of these guys. I thought Apocalypse killed them all. I was wrong.

" Kon Plan A I yelled." the boy jumped on the armor and used Tactile Telekinisis to open it . I saw the ruby embedded on Cain's chest I grabbed it and started to pull. One problem, Juggernaut's mystic defenses knocked us both back. I started healin' pretty quick.

The kid's magic weakness had him out cold. Ok Time fer plan b. I had super boy bring me a Phantom Zone Projector. When I was tryin' ta find it, Dr Strange's Voice came into my mind . "Juggernaut's power is being augmented by several mages."

" That's about ta be, no longer a problem ." I yelled I used Banner'a Mind ta figure out tha projector. I blasted 'im And he disappeared. In a floating sqare thing . Now Marko is someone else's problem.



In The Phantom Zone


" Man In red armor Kneel Before Zod!"

" Shut up you annoyin' freak 'fore I shut you up . "

Black mail and new partner

Well a certain professor in West chester has hired me ta take care o' the Juggernaut. Juggy is a tough one ta handle normally but he's somehow growin' an gettin bigger. I called up Dr Strange.

He said " There is some one feeding Marko's gem of Cyttorak even more mystical power. I will try to find a way to stop the feed but you'll have to hold him off Br... I mean Joe ." I decided since Doc Strange was gonna help me fer free I'd let him almost callin' me "Bruce ." go besides I didn't like the Crossroads tha first time.

I thought I needed some more muscle, I may be th' strongest one there is. But wit' magic ya can never be too sure . I looked through the muscle Guys I knew.



Doc Samson? There 's no way besides my past wit' dis dork he'd be askin' Juggeranut about his mother an' how he's feelin' I'd have ta slap green hair half way through, besides that costume hurts my eyes.



Yeah right. Besides tha fact he hates me the Abomination cries when he gets beat too much. I know I usually do tha beatin'



Colussus would be perfect, he's strong and loyal two prblems, one he not too bright, two all the X-men are on some kind o' mission.

I Started lookin fer heroes Out side my neck o' tha woods. I came up wit , Superman the salad brain has fought 'im a couple o' times . My memories from Greenie are pretty spotty, but he seemed tough.

Too bad he don't have no skeletons in his closet. But his kid clone does.


I called ,im ta my office.
" Yo waht the hell do you want?" He asked i gave him all the stuff about money. When that didn't work I appealled to his heroic side . " Look ya grey gargoyle I ain't teamin' up with a leg breaker. "

Then I had ta bring out tha Black mail," look kid ya don't help me dis picture goes out to tha tabloids an' tha pretty lil' Wonder girl ya got a thing fer.



" What? I mean how'd you get that? I can explain...."

" I don't wanna hear it. Are ya gonna help me or not s- boy? "

" Yeah sure"

" Look I need ya ta get sumthin' outta yer pop's Fortress fer plan b. Meet me Jersey.

I leapt a jersey and the kid met me there, The Juggernaut came around a corner

Super boy yelled " He's as big as a house man!"

The Juggernaut said " Hey little people outta the way cause nothin' stops the Juggernaut."
Why does he have ta say that all the time.

Doomed

This is before that mook Vegeta got 'im self killed . He Looked ariund in his tourist disguise. He seemed uncomfortable as usual. He did what he was supposed ta do, He snuck away from the the group.

Now it 's my turn in this stupid caveman duisguise I attacked Castle Doom. It seems dis dumb beard is intimdatin'. And the club was made of titanium so I could smash the tanks . The good news is they didn,t know it was me so thee heavy stuff wasn,t brought out.

Meanwhile Vegeta put the little gimmack That Richards sent into Doom's computers. The metal faced jerk just had to appear at that moment. An' a course Vegeta had to fight him . Not knowin' some o' the things in his armor could blast things as much as he can wit' his power.

I smashed through the the weak defenses they had and ran up to where I heard the explosions. It was a weird show , wit Doom blastin' an' casting spells and Short stuff's hair getting spiker and more gold.

so whilethey was distracted I turned on the device. And all th e Doom bots in tha place came runnin' and jumped on Doom. " How dare you use the macinations of Doom against him."
" Man! I hate people who talk in third person!" I saidI punched him , " That voice Doom knows you the Hulk!" What he didn't realise was I put another of Richard's little toys on his armor.

He stalled and was stuck. " Now what do we do with him? " asked Vegeta. " Well we could put a hat on 'im and and make him a cursing Garden Gnome Man ! Such Language Doomie! But seriously We let Richarads Do what he wants wit' him. . "

" Yes But no one is going to believe the Doom bots are him." said Vegeta. " Huh? why not ? Iasked " There is a gliche in Richard's program." Sure enough the Doom bots were all doin' somethin' strange. One Was yelling " I love you!" another was doin' Ballet. One was yellin "do the babababababaaaba!"

"Hey we did our job" I said let's go home. I dropped Doom off at the Baxter Building. Richards wasn't there , But I did See Johnny Storm and that chump Grim put Doom in one of those dunkin' machines ya see in the carnival, and there was whole mess o base balls.

When I got back to my home Vegeta left mumbilin' something afer I gave him his cut. ggod riddance. I walked into my new office,. and a certain hairy runt was waitn' on me.

" HeyBub the Professor has job for ya."

Gettin' ready

"The first thing we need ta do "I told Vegeta Is come up wit sum 'Plausable denability. ' "

"But Why do I need to look like this? " He asked and is there some reason you have brought my family here to see my humilation?"



" Hey we we can't have anyone know it's ya right off. We need Doom ta think yer a tourist . Also I thought it would be funny fer yer wife an' kids ta see ya like this. "

" wait people actually go to Latveria forr tourisim" are they insane?"

" Hmph Your an Idiot." Oh yeah I cin tell already this ain't gonna work out, besides I've been thinkin' about gettin' a diffrenet partner for each fix So after dis Vegeta's done unless I need 'im again.
His cute lil daughter said" Aren't you going to have a disguise Mr Fixit?"

" I guess ,Doom knows about my um other selves but i'm kind ' a loose cannon any ways?"

The Girl said " Hey I got an idea. "

Later
Evreyone else but me was laughin' Here is what the kid put me in
it's a little disturbin'

are ya sure ya wanna see it?


Ok then.


Scroll down.










Vegeta said " Bwhahahahahahahahah! Welcome caveman joe."

" Shaddup."

Oh yeah a different partner each time definatley.

Thanks to Vegeta fer tellin" me about Supload.