Blood hunt part 1: Wolverine

So I get this message on my machine." Mr Fixit I have tried to contact you before. I'm willing to pay you $100,000 for blood samples of Logan aka Wolverine , and Nathan Summers Aka Cable. They must both be delivered at me to an address I have emailed to you. You will be given the money after delivery of both samples.



I had no idea this guy tried to contact me before, I sense Banner had something to do with this. I look on the news ta see if Logan or the X-men were doing anything at the moment , what do you know they were fightin' the Dark Phoenix and Magneto's Brotherhood of Puny mutants.

I also saw some guy in a AIM uniform and the constrictor. Well looks like I'm gonna need some help with this one if nothing else I've studied this Henchman guy. He has a battery that allows for my powers to just make him stronger.

Not to worry My partner has been watching him on that game show for weeks now. I call him up. After we get ta Washington. I go over the plan with him. " Alright we act like we're all heroic and comin ta save the day. Then I get close ta short stuff, an ' take a blood sample got it.

He kind looks lost in though. " Maybe we should actually help out? If that freak Magneto wins he'll put my Woman in a concentration camp, then kill my children."

" Ya ain't goin' soft on me are ya?"

" Just thinking out loud." He said watching Wolverine fight the Hench man. The runt looked like he losin' but the problem wit' Logan is he can take a lot of abuse. Sometimes he'll take it on purpose to put his opponent in a false sense of security then he'll gut 'em.

What can I say? I've fought Wolverine a lot. " Ok " I say " Let's do this. "

I fall on Mags from above slammin' him into the pavement. The Constrictor catches me with those Adamantium coils of his. " I almost beat you when you were green Hulk. I 'll destroy you now that your weaker!'

I grin at him " Who says I'm weaker?" I pull the coils to me, and he slams into my fist. The Hench man summons some kind of Demon which the hairy midget already cut in half.

" Well Henchman Ya think yer gonna make yer reputation by beating the Hulk huh? Sorry but I ain't got time for you but I think you know my partner here? "



Vegeta shows off by going Supersaiyan and then Slammin' into the Henchman causing a Sonic boom. " Vegeta! " Hollers the Henhcman. " Your not going to win this one with cheap shots!"

" Your right! I'm going to win by being stronger and faster human!"

" I'm not completely human any more! Because of you ''Hero' I'll pay you back for that in spades Alien!" As they hit each other with superspeed punches I walked over to Logan ready put him down when the Phoenix blasts me.

" Stupid Hulk you shouldn't have interfered in my war !"

" Hey I don't care about you toots! So do yourself a favor an' back off!"
She blasts all the skin off of my body I regenerate it, she does it again and again. gettin' me mad !

" Look Red! I didn't want ta do this but you made me angry!" I slam my hands together the shock wave stuns her. I follow up by jumpin' on her And landin punch after punh I then hear " Jeanie Nooooooooo!"

Next thing I know six claws are cuttin' inta my back. I slap him offa me. The I remember Wolvie's who I'm after. He recover s quick and gets that metal goon to throw himself at me the metal cuts deep. I pull his claws out wipe off my blood then I use his own hands ta cut him open I put a vial inta the wound before it heals gettin' the sample.

I'm ready ta leap outta there. I see Vegeta walk over too me with a bruise on his cheek and a cut over his eye. " Hmph. He got in a few shots, but I won."

" Well let's get outta here!"

I Leap away while I see vegeta looking as if he wants to help the X-men whatever I got what I came for .

Problem solved?

Banner watched the statues today. Th problem I don't trust the founder of the Panty club for men to protect anything. So when it was my turn with the body I called Vegeta. That was after listenin' ta three messages askin. for Pizza.


Any way I finally got i'm. "Hey Vegeta!" I said I got a little problem."

" So?" he answers

" Look punk! yer my partner an I know yer on some game show but I need some help. "


" Bah ! You'd think the Hulk could take care of himself!" he said.

" You know about my little day light problem you gonna help or not?"

He sighs and says " Fine what do you want?"

" I want yer son ta watch this place during the day. not the whiny one or the blue haired psycho."

" Miari ok fine."

As the night goes on Some ninjas and these others attack he place. I beat them down until I notice the sun comin' up oh no not now!

Two new jobs

I was paid ta help Black plague with his gang war against the Kingpin. But Puny Banner had to get in the way, and drugged himself. He also locked himself in a vault.

My healin' ability took care of the drug an' a steel vault was nothin to my strength. I end up gettin' there late. So I ended up keepin" Bloodscream an' Roughouse out of the fight between Plauge and Kingpin.


The two ended up wimpin' out and became partners . Not that I care I got what I wanted outta the whole deal everything I wanted. Plague wanted me to join as a permanent Henchman, but I told him I like ta be my own boss.


When I get back to my office I find a message on my machine from a Captain Koma He's creating a strike force ta take out the Terminarix. I call him and say I'll do it for half price since takin' down the robot will stick in Magneto's craw.

Word on the street says the Swamp Thing is putting together a strike force to take down the amazin' pink mutant as well. Looks like he's in fer a fun time. The next night Banner left a tape recording sayin' I got the job at Oike gallery one hitch I had to work night and day.

Memed again

That runt Wolverine tagged me with Deadpool's Meme. But since I'm busy gettin' the new office remodeled it took me a couple a days ta get to it. I hear Magneto wants revenge on me ? Bah! He'll get smashed an' like it.



I should go find Wolverine and pay him back for this. Then again the last beatin' I put on the midget was pretty severe. So I guess we'll call it even. Now Wilson's waste of my time.

1. Other than yourself, pick the contestant that remains in Last Gladiator Standing you think will win? Aoc 's pretty funny.


2. What's your favorite color of Pink? none.

3. What's your favorite episode of Golden Girls none again.

4. If you were Anna Nicole Smith, what would you do with your child? I'm surprised that kid's alive.

5. How many figures am I holding up? Heey is that a green Hulk? Where's yer Fixit Figure? Get back here ya little punk!

6. Decipher this code: *66hsther;o adthaodf stop Deadpool really is havin' Henchman's baby. I did not wanna know that.

7. What's wrong with this Meme? It bugs me.

8. Create your own question and answer it Whos the Stongets one there is? Big Joe.


10. Do you have a man crush on Luke Cage? Man Crush? Well I did once crush Iron man, and Spider-man oh his head .

12. Are you the weakest link? That would be salad brain.

13. Are you prepared for the Dalek invasion over here? I 'll smash 'em.

14. Switch lives with one blogger for a year? Problem is I switch lives with two othr bloggers all'a time Banner and Green Hulk.

15. Who has the best sidekick in LGS? While I would like ta see how Magnifcant Becca really is, I'd have ta say Xavier.

16. If you watched the season finale of Doctor Who, what did you think'; Didn't watch it.

17. Do you know who Lookwell! Is? No unless he's got money otherwise I don't care.

18. Tag 3 people you wouldn't share socks with. No one tells Joe Fixit what ta do.

Takin' away Magneto's toy.

Th' company that made th cyborg that Magneto's been usin' hired me ta bring it back. After givin' me an analysis of the energy this thing put out go home and wait for Banner ta take a look at it.

When It's my turn at the body again I see he's built some kinda doohicky that finds her. I find her fightin' Wolverine an' Storm. She knocks 'em down. Her makers told me her force fields can be stopped by a sonic attack. So I give 'er the most devastating' one on the Planet my Thunder Clap.


She goes down for a minute An' I make sure she stays down with and electromagnetic disrupter. As I'm about to take the Fembot away a certain little runt objects.



" Fixit! That ' bot is to dangerous! She has ta be crushed."

" Not gonna happen midget!" I say. " Now get outta th' way, Or make you get out of the way!"

He pops those damn claws of his and Jumps at me. I swat him away in midair. when actually does some kind of flip in the air lands feet first on a wall the springs at me again usin' the momentum to cut through my chest.

" Ok runt now ya went an' got me mad!" I scream.



I punch him he slashes me, I finally grab him by those claws of his and throw him around I smash him into the pavement then a wall, finally I jump about 1,000 feet an' piledrive Logan into th street.

The little punk still wants to fight he cuts my legs. I just stomp on his head several times rattlin' his brains until I can convince him to listen to what I gotta say.

" Listen here stupid! If ya want me to rip ya aprt like Greenie did I can, Or I can let you X-men know about somethin' that can get rid of Magneto for you>"

" Cough! Grrrr!" He says at me as pin his arms down with my feet. " Look I was at Capsule Corp recently And trunks wanted ya to know about a gun that takes out Magnet boy's powers. It's only temporary , but if I know you you'll already go tazmanian devil on him before he can get them back."

" Dammit Fixit! That Terminator is too dangerous for whoever I payin ya ta get it for 'em . "

" Ya see Logan That's the problem I don't care. Now ya can chase me , or you can take out your worst enemy, And hey I hear Bulma likes short guys with funny hair ya might have a shot. " I leap away leavin' Wolverine to heal in peace.

I get the Money from the companies President , it' three times my normal salary. Well It look Like Fixit Inc. is movin' up in the world I bought an office building, with plenty of room for Banner's little experiments.

He can have it on one condition he doesn't try to cure himself. My offices are going to be on the middle floors An' I'll be livin' in th' Penthouse. This is gonna be sweet.

New jobs.

Well today Trunks called me to help get M.o.d.o.k. Outta his front yard. Well his parents' yard any way I hear he don't live there no more. Well The big headed freak put up a pretty good fight.

Trunks joined the fight , He wasn't doing as good as other saiyans I've seen. Then again that could a been because of Freako's Mind powers. The boy surprised us all by turning Ss4.




While M.O.D.O.K. was reeling from a psychic backlash, I start beating on him. A bunch of burning attacks, Thunder Claps, and just regular super punches The weirdo finally cuts out and runs saying " A henchman isn't worth Fighting the Hulk and a freak boy."

The money I got outta this deal was well worth the aggravation . At this rate Capsule Corp might as well put me, on the permanent payroll. Well at least this one was easy not compared to this other job I've been workin'

I was hired by this guy's family ta find him,



And tell him to stop dressing like that. I haven't been able ta find him anywhere, then again, If I dressed like that I would hide too.

Damn Kingpin.

I get to Fisk Tower, of course I get a welcomin' committee The enforcer Tombstone,



And the Rhino wearing purple things on his costume.




We trash th' building for a while until, I jump out of the way, and the two slam into each other, Knocking each other out. I seem to remember Rhino once did that to the Abomination while fighting greenie once.

That Rhino just can't work with anyone. Hammerhead runs at me screaming' on the 30 th floor.

I step out of the way. He slams through and falls into a garbage truck below. Man that had to hurt. Right before I get to the Kingpin's floor I'm stopped by a bunch of Henchmen.

I hear they want dental these days. Well they're going to need it now that I'm finished with them. I finally confront the Kingpin.



Stupidly he tries to fight me I smash him, and I find out he's a robot. " So Ya ain't got the guts to stay here an fight eh Kingpin?"

His face comes up on a screen. " Fighting you would just be stupid , now wouldn't Dr Banner?"

" I ain't Banner!" I yell.

" Whatever, Are you angry that your little relationship with a bimbo is ruined because of me."

"Nah, I don't care about that, I care about you sending those losers Roughouse and Bloodscream after me."

" Well I knew they wouldn't be able to kill you. I should have guessed you would have eventually discovered my ruse. But I could just pay you to rid West City Of Black Plauge and his mob."

" If ya came to me and asked I might have done it. I say. " I don't like that Cain punk anyway. But now you'll just have to have your selves a little gang war to settle your dispute. And I'm going to hit you where it hurts your pocket book!"

I take everything of value in the place , man he's got a lot of money, this should pay for rebuildin' office just fine. Then I pull Fisk Tower down\. I hope that Mook has to pay through the nose to rebuild it. Hey Why I'm In New York I might as well check out the Hellfire Club. An' spend some of the Kingpin's money on strippers. Heh Heh!

So what?

(continued from crime alley,)

While fighting Cain, Kristy's dumb sister got in the way of one of my punches. Dumb broad almost got killed, If I hadn't of pulled my punch at the last second. Kristy gives me this dumb little speech.

It's all about how " Cain wouldn't hurt you because I cared for yopu and he loved my sister." Blah! Blah! Blah!I'm washing my hands of this whole mes after I find out who tried to kill me. Apprently If I beleive the whiney twins it wasn't Reaper.

Roughouse an' Bloodscream are long gone. I'm gonna have to see what the word on the street is arrrrrrgh! A huge pain just struck me what's happining? I'm the Hulk I don't feel pain. No the sun's up! I'm turning back into Banner!




( looks around at the destruction.)

" What have you you done this time Joe?"

( flashes of an innocent woman being hurt. Go through his mind.)

Damn it! Joe ! No don't get angry. That won't help. Ok I have to make sure the woman is ok before I leave town.

Showin' Cain who's boss.

I leap ta Karen's place an' whattaya know Cain was there. I go in ther and find Kristy in there too. Oh well looks like Ol' Joe will have ta find 'imself somone new after this.

" Hey Joe!" she says innocently. " Sorry kid but i gotta do this."

" Huh?"

" Reaper Your boss tried ta off me! I think you have something ta do with that! Now we should step outside you'll either tell me what is goin' on or I'll beat outta ya!"

" Fine freak! though I have no idea about what you are talking about."


Vegeta's kid just as arrogant as he is. He thinks no one on th' planet is as strong as a saiyain he's about ta get a rude awakening.

He turns ss and beats on me a little I miss with my first few punches, he kick me down then, smirks at me that's when I rearrnge his dental work wit' a haymaker.
s he's bleedin' from 'is mouth I kick into th' air he turns al hairy


I guess taht' what they call ss4. He starts firin' blasts at me.


" Think yer smart don't ya getting outta my range? My range is longer than ya think. " I hit a Thunder Clap knockin' 'im down."

I then grab 'im by his tail knee 'im a few times. Then I pick'im up an yell " Why'd ya try ta kill me ? "




To be continued in Crime Alley

Somone put out a hit on me.

So I get back from a job Namor paid me for takin' out the Orca. if ya don't know who is He's a guy who gains pwer from havin' whales around him. I knock out the whales an' he yells "No my wife!"

That was disturbin.' So I get paid in Atlantian gold While I'm sittin' in my office, trying ta figure out how i'm gonna spend this. Roughouse an' Bloodscream break down my door.


" Master Fixit the end of your day art here."

" Huh?" I say.

" Were gonna kill ya." said Roughouse.


That I understand I let my fists do th' talkin for me by kncking the big dork out through the hole he knocked in my wall. Then the vampire jumps on me . I start bleedin like crazy.

While this is happenin.' The big hairy guy starts punchin' me this gets me mad. I slam the pale freak into his big buddy. Blood scream transforms inta somethin' and satrts babbilin' in old English.

I knew one thing I wasn't gonna let that undead creep touch me again. I unleash a Thunder clap. The two fly out I slam Roughouse inta his creepy buddy The Big guy starts bleedin'.

"Okay The big dork is gonna die if ya don't tell me who sent ya!" I say.

" Thou Doth not have the guts ta kill grey beahemouth."

" Ya wanna try me pal? " I say. " Ya better hurry not sure how much blood shaggy can lose there!"

" Black Plauge thou maloderous lummox!" I let them go an' Bloodscream drags Roughouse away. Now why would Black Plauge send those two after me? Wait it must be that punk Cain that works for him. I 'm gonna break Reper's scrawny little neck!

Spider- man Is runnin' outta ideas

Ok I don't know if ya know this or not but SPider-man likes to play practal jokes on other heroes. Though I dont think of myself as a hero he see s to but man I don't know what he was thinkin' here.





Jumpin' off a bulding an' kicking me in the face ain't funny. Ok the fact he was yellin' surprise! while he did kind of funny was but any way I got him back.





heh heh heh

Summers has problems

I know I ain't posted in a while. Ya see I've been gamblin, pretty much a vacation from all the stress of work. That an' I keep turnin, back to Banner, r turnip head.

It seems while I was away my mail piled up. Most of tthem were job offers. Good I can get back some of my money. Then the was dis one, it was mailed rom Xavier's institute. I pop it in my VCR Hopin' it was footage of Psylocke in her Bikini or somethin'.

But noo! that would be somethin' I'd want to see. It was Cyclops, and he was eatin' Ben an' Jerry's Ice cream .

Ya could hear kids laughin' in the background they were sayin' "This is Saturday night. And this is what Mr Summers does. " He started cryin' the camera moves over to the tv an Comedy Central is on .

He starts sayin' things like "why don't they respect me? Why can't I be loved then it gets really strange he yells " Warren!" He takes out a teddy bear and hugs it It says " You don't judge me Mr wooby . You accept me for who I am."

I was watchin' the leader of the X-men have a nervous breakdown. He curls up into the fetal postion and puts a thumb in his mouth and starts suckin' on it. This is where the tape ends. Oh yeah Mutant kind is in good hands wit' this mook in charge.


I look at my Email An' I get from Vegeta's wife. it says " you would want to see this." It says it was taken from a party at Xavier's mansion. I play the attachment An' it's Summers again this time with Gambit. They're holdin' each other an' cryin.'

It seems Bulma doesn't know me at all, I don't want to see that . I turn off my computer an' look at my mail with fear. How many more are starring Scott doin' somethin' weird. I'm going to be havin' nightmares. for months now.

Playin' detective.

While Savin' da sister o' Ms. Tart, I got 'er number. Hey Banner may wanna mourn fer Betty forever, I do not. Any way she called me sayin' someone tried ta murder her sister.

She think's Vegeta did it, or had sumthin' ta do wit ta hide an affair. I called in a favor wit a private eye. After a day or so I hate ta say it but Vegeta Couldn't be da one who had da affair. he was very publicaly arguing wit Goku.

Vegeta threw A dumpster at him Goku threw a car they fought for a few minutes, And der wives yelled at 'em and dey broke it up. It was on da news an evrything.

So I went ta CapsuleCorp ta pick up da Money Trunks owed me. After gettin it I snuck ta where dey keep da security tapes. After convincin' da guards. I looked through da tapes of dat day. Sure enough sumone who looked like Vegeta was kissin' Karen.

Problem was it ain't him . His hair was like whitesh blue. And dat voice is way to diffrent. Also Durin da Doom ting he had his shirt blasted off. There was no tattos when dis guy threw off his shirt he had a grim reaper tattoed on is back.

Dis don't make no sense. unless sumone was tryin' ta impersonate Vegeta.

It's vampire crushin' time

Trunks called me up ta the Crime alley bar. He said " It's time. " I don't klnow what changed da kid , but he acts less unsure, he's still arrogant but in a he can back it up way.


He also drinks like a man now. hwe was dowin" whiskey like no one business.

" You ready Fixit?" He asks me in a suddleny deep voice. " C'mon dere just blood suckers I was born ready. " We go ta this place where his little secratary has been dealin' wit' dese things. This one wit'really messed up hair . was awaiting fer her he got a surprise . After we beat on him a little while. He told us where

ta find the sister. We go to tha bulding, and find ourselves surronded by Undead.

to be continued in Trunks Blog.

Some new oppurtinities.

A kid who looks like Trunks but acts completely different asked me ta help 'im bring down some vamps . But somethin' happened wit dat and he lost 'em. But I think I can turn dis into an oppurtunity.

Ya see tougher Trunks guy had me meetin' him at the Crime alley bar in West City. I tink I'll make it into one of hangouts it amazin' how much info ya can get from de place.

Yeah what's better I may get me some new rich clients. And get some black mail on mobsters dis is gonna be good.

Fightin' the great Saiyadork

( Thanks to Great Siayaman for his responses.)

Gohan kicks in my office door And Shouts" I am the champion of Justice Iam...."
" Yer Gohan I say back to him, so what can I do for ya?" " I heard of you destruction of a neighbor hood I'm here to stop you and your evil." I had ta laugh at that one.

"Look ya've been watchin' to many super hero movies Why don't I..." He punches me in the face.

So here we are trashin' Vegas I'm tryin' ta atop this lunaintic before he gets hurt. Then he does it he uses a ki blast in my face I taste blood , and I get mad. He was fast and landed a bunch of punches an' kicks.

But The onesI landed though they hit lless hurt hm more that his did me. ya see I was healin' the whole time, And As the fight went on I was gettin harder ta hurt and stronger.

I trashed to cherry sports cars on his head I kind of regret that, dose were nice cars.he flies up an' strts yellin " Ka me ha ..." I'd seen this before and knew if it hit it would take out half of vegas so I thunder clapped windows for miles around shatterd and car alarms started thier annoyin' blasting.

His ears were hurtin' but he said " I can't let you beat me." " Why?" I asked " because ya want to join the Avengers?" " No you endangerd lives and destroyed property for money."

" An' what are ya doin' now huh? " I said . He jut growled at me his hair turned gold and I thought i knew what to expect but he hit me a lot harder den he should have been able to.

I few into a a swimmin' pool he followed me in I think he was tryin ta weaken me by drownin, me. I grabbed on to him gave him a bear hug forcin' all the air from his lungs after a few minutes he was out.

after gettin' outta da pool I checked his pulse, he was okay, an ' knowin dese saiyans he would be walkin' around in a few minutes. " ya put up a good fight." i said "but Ya can't breathe underwater I can. "

I left 'im there and went lookin' fer my hat.

Demolition duty.

Alright I gotta job! A company was wantin' this neighborhood. Ta get crushed. Tha Problem? da people dat lived there didn't want ta move. Well dere I hada a stroke o luck dat loser Wonder man was in da neighborhood.

He was signin' autographs An stuff so I got in de line took off my shirt and attacked. " what are you doing?" he yells. I don't even talk ta him I smashed him inta some buildings See I staked out da place . I knew which bulidings was empty.

I smashed him all around da place den finall y he starts fightin back . Dis Guy has some kind o confidence problem byt it seems like I set 'im off. I let him smack me around a little bit.

The people had gotten out of da neighborhood. So I let loose. II let my anger out and put down Wondy he was trying to get back up when I Thunder clapped his ears knockin im out. yeah da place was a mess. My clients got what dey wanted.

Don't feel bad for da people though ys see I charged the company quadrauple my usual fee. And Sent da rest to da peole so dey can buy mansions if dey wanted. THe company got what dey wanted I got paid De people aren't homeless. An Simon Williams? well He got beat up , but he got what he likes publicity. I hear he's getting an action movie. A job don't usually go did well where evreyone's happy.

disqualified?

I was gonna win dat tornament I was beatin' down thdat stupid Goten boy when I hadda get too mad an Salad brain came out a second. He kicked the boy in da junk. Ndat's it no more competions no more rules, no more fallin' outta da ring. From now on When I fight no rules.

I'm gonna beat on any one I'm paid ta or annoys me, I need a job one where I can beat down some mook. I have a lot o' anger ta release on someone!

Arrrrgh!

Stupid tag Tournament !Those two wimps the big hair bros. ( Yeah I know Vegeta and Goku ain't related. If they were that would make the Goten Bra thing sick, or sicker.)

Any way Vegeta's girl was taken out pretty quick by Goku. Which left me and Vegeta ta fight. I was doin' pretty good. Until they both ganged up on me. Thier chop saki moves and energy blasts couldn't cut it . So they tricked me.
And knocked me outta tha ring.

I guess they're proud of demselves, and thier shiny new tag belts . And da fact dey didn't even go up to dere hightest forms ta beat me . But now ya better watch out ya posers cause ya have no back up in da tourney anymore. An Joe Fixit is gonna leave wit' the second place tag prize and the first place solo prize.

this tag tournament is mine.

I got teamed with Vegeta's daughter and we one or way into da semi finals. Thet girl has gotta a mouth on 'er though. she insults me before we fight Not dat it matters she can fight. Beat some dork named gamcha or Yamcha somthin' like dat .

Now we gotta fight Trunks and Vampirella. I gotta say i'm not too sad . bout that. I For some reason Vegeta's son rubs me da wrong way, I can't wait to punch 'im in da face .

What's wit' all this snow? those wimps better not cancel the tournament. or they're gonna have a bigger problem , me.