Gettin' ready to fight the Destroyer.

OK yeah I've been avoidin' Betty Banner. Also I've been keepin' Banner away from her by puttin' him in weird places like mountain tops , or in cages. I don't trust her I think it seems just a little weird that she shows up all the sudden alive After Bein' dead? c'mon.

O' Course Kristy ain't believin'' the fact I ain't Banner. Yeah we share the same body but I am not that weak panty waist. I don't need him but he needs me . Because with out me he'd be hiding under a bed cryin' about how mean Daddy was.

Any way I was in my bulllding' when I get this phone call. It was surpisin' that it turned out to be Professor X. I can't believe his nerve after being part of the group that sent me too space.

He made some excuses sayin' he didn't know what was goin' on in the room, It was all Reed Richards' doin' all that. I'm tired of hearin' it after all this time. I ask the prof. " Whattaya want?"

" Well Joe the Destroyer has just rampaged through my school. I was wondering if you could take care of it for me."

There are a few things that can challenge those X-kiddies. Well The Destroyer is one of'em. This robot armor thing, that needs a soul to activate it. It was made by Odin, to stop some Celestials, and the thing is a tough nut to crack. Even for me The Hulk.

I demand quadruple my usual rate, and he agrees to pay it. That shocked me a little ,it must be important for some reason , to him to take down the Destroyer. That's fine I kinda' like the "heroes " callin' me in to help with their problems.

I know they don't trust me, but they need my strength so for right now, They ain't gonna try somethin' like that again. Well as long as I keep the other Hulk's in check.

After the money appears in my Bank Account. I start leapin' to New York. I know I could have taken' a plane but it's faster for me to leap, and I don't have to watch any crappy movies. Watch out ya Hunk O' tin. I'm comin' fer ya.

My weird meetin' with Nick Fury.

Banner's havin' a great time with his girl back. But does he care that she comes outta the blue? Or that she's dead? No of course not!And this guy's supposed to be a scientist.

Well ant way, Nick " One eye" Fury wanted to see me about something. Well I get there and he's babblin' somethin' about the " TX" and ' " Tasha whoever the The hell that is.

The TX I know pretty well though. " If This is about Magneto's Love toy I'll thrash her again, for a fee."

" No she's dead! I'm gonna kill that damn Robot!" he answers.

" Ok then." I shake my head. "Look Old man ! You better not have brought me here to waste my time!"

Fury finally get himself together, and says. " Look I have to get Back to the Helicarrier, Dun Dum Dugan will fill you in on why we've called you."He then hurried runs out the door Ok I'm gettin' a little annoyed here.

Dugan walks in and opens a suitcase."These are the members of the Civil; War experiment called "Project Justice Like lightning." The escaped custody during a riot."


I laugh." So lemme get this straight you put a whole bunch O' villains on you payroll to capture heroes. When they do what crooks tend to do, escape. Now you want me to catch them right?"

Dugan sighs. " Look for each one of these guys you can track down , and catch, we'll give you and whoever you work with a fair price based on how dangerous and powerful they are. Does that sound good to you?"

I snort." No, You give me my normal fee, I ain't bein' lowballed."

" He shakes his head. " The least dangerous one will be twice your normal fee, Fixit."

My jaw drops. Dugan smiles " I'll take that look as you saying we have a deal Lad."

" Wait a sec. Could you guys do me a favor?" I question

" Depends on what it is Hulk."

" Well banner's wife Betty has mysteriously popped up alive could ya guys look into it for me?"

" What? Ok sure we'd be very interested to now how she pulled off that trick ourselves."

" Good doin' business wit' ya then." I grin.

Not her!

Big Joe is back in control again. And that's a good thing, considerin'that That Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator is right, it looks like the Other Hulk is touching Logan's crotch In that picture in the last post.
Yuck I'm gonna go wash that hand, in battery acid. On to more pleasant things. Kristy got a hold of me an' we were goin' out, well her darn sister had to go too. Tch! Fine.

the dinner went alright ' cept Karen kept lookin' at me diapprovingly , and askin' are you still taking money to beat up people ?"

" I dunno know girl. Are ya still datin' a homicidal maniac?" I sneer.

She puffs up " I'll have you know Cabain is now a police officer!"

" Ah so now it's legal for him, to be homicidal then?" Heh. That was a good one.

" Look here Fixit! " She screams. " You have his Father, as some kind of business partner. He's a lot worse than Cabain ever was."

I chuckle at that one. " At least he admits it, and doesn't care what anyone thinks about him, that I can respect."

Kristy kept tryin' to get us to stop fighting. As time went on . I tried ta get Kristy to go to my place Of course Karen, just hadda play chaperone. So we get there, and I get an unwelcome surprise.


" There's an old lady in your building." squeals Karen.

" Bruce who are these People?" Asks Betty, indignantly.

Karen looks around, " Where where's Bruce?"

Betty gives me the ol' stink Eye. " You didn't tell them did you Bruce?"

"Fixit, who is this?" questions Karen, tapping her foot.

" I'm Betty Banner, his wife. Ladies I'd like you to meet Dr. Robert Bruce Banner."

Karen gasps " Banner that's the name of..."


Kristy jumps up and down " Who? Who? Why won't somebody. Please tell me what's going on?"


Betty shakes her head. " Look Bimbo He's the Hulk. As in the Incredible."

Damn it! Stupid Betty First callin' Bruce then tellin' 'em who I really am. Why can't dead people just stay dead?"

I ain't joining your little war.

The other day I was minding own business for once. And Tony Stark, and Reed Richards show up , and start trying to recruit me. Of all the stupid things. These two sent me out into space , then ask me for a favor?

Well When I tell them where they can stick their offer. They attack me along with Wonder man. Richards bounces at me like a ball. I pull a lamppost out the ground and hit him away for a home run I hope he enjoys whatever country he landed in heh.

Meanwhile I'm fighting with Iron man , and Wonder man.

I crushed Iron man's chest plate, and gave a special message to the Old Hollywood dork.

So after I leave them broken, and bruised. I find my self a nice little place in the woods, where I can be left alone. But do People leave me alone? Nooooooo! Capitan America, And Wolverine have to show up and mess and try to recruit me for there side. And here's my answers to both of them.


I think I'm going To wait until this war's final battle, Then I'm going to crush the winning side. That way , no one will ever mess with me again.

Beating down a saiyan

Koma had appeared in front of Banner, and zapped him with a Gamma gun . He transformed into me. " Nice of Banner to stay at Xavier's mansion where I can find him, Are you the Hulk I talked to last time?

" Yeah." I mutter.

" Good,there's so many of you Will you help me save the Henchman?"


" Banner's messed up, and who said I was your errand boy Koma?"

" Oh no reason, it's just my friend is fighting vegeta , that's all." he answers.

" So?"

" He's been bragging he's the strongest in the Universe, since he beat Superman."

" Heh. Nice trying to play on my vanity. Alright Koma I'll bite. Besides that arrogant little alien has had a beating coming for some time now . Take me too him."

He opens a portal where I appear behind him. The super powered Napoleon was fighting demons, Koma appeared in front of him His little synth girl found The magdelena , and got her outta of some burning building.

Koma and the Veg head exchange some words, then He points at me and jumps through the portal dragging along Henchman, He'd better open me a portal back to Earth if he knows what's good for him.

I challenge him with "Your the one who keeps bragging he's the strongest in the Universe! Now you'll have to face the strongest one there is !"

He eats some kind of bean, and his wounds close up and he no longer looks tired.

the saiyan charges me while flying then unleashes a hay maker , on my face. I laugh " That it?" " I then show him what a punch should feel like . As I knock him out of the city.

I leap after the punk,and get blasted into the dirt. He lands all kind of kicks an d chops, and punches, I can't believe this.

" Your supposed to have beat Superman? What did he do? Slip on all the blood you were dripping all over the place?"


" Why? Do I not have my Power?" He screams at no one. " Wait ! That's it the weakling has It! Hey wimp! Give me my strength!"

Then his voice changes, " But I'm pain ting my ship pretty colors."

" The Hell? Give it too me now Or come up to Sky city and Take it!"

I ran at the nut I wasn't going to let this fight end because he decided to have a nervous break down. He blasted me I grabbed it in my hands and started pushing it towards him.


He shouted " I need all of my strength now you pale imitation of me Give it too me now !"

Then his voice changes again,." Okay fighting's icky any way take it ."

Then some kind of power comes down from a nearby satellite. He turns into that weird " super saiyan 4 " form. His blast increases in intensity, and Hurts Hulk. I mean me .

My skin is burned off Hulk heals pretty quick though. He flies at me faster than Hulk could blink. His punches crack bones , Damn it I let my arrogance over whelm me and didn't let myself get angry enough.

But Now Hulk Mad! He Hit s me with an uppercut that throws me into a mountain, it crumbles on me. He then unleashes more energy blasts. " Ha! Another one bites the Dust !" Yells Funny hair man at Hulk .

Argh! No I can't let him free... I want to beat him not Nooooo! Puny Fake Hulk, no longer in way. Funny Hair man laughs then says something like " Wait a second his power level just went up immensely."

Hulk breaks free of big rocks. " Funny hair man is strong but not Stronger than Hulk ! " Hulk tells him ." No one is stronger than Hulk Monkey guy , and Hulk will show you that ! Hulk will Smash!

I'm back or Hulk battle royal

For all the time That other Hulk was on that planet, I was repressed. I don't like bein' kept in Banners Mind, and I was goin' ta show this loser just how felt about that.

" Yeah that's right, I'm Big Joe Fixit ! An' I'm back!" I say at the green gladiator Hulk. I look behind 'im Onslaught, so that explains why I'm in the same place at the same time as him.

" I'm gonna take ya down! Then I'http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.spell.gif
Check Spellingll be top dog!" I challenge.

The other Hulk turns his back on me . " I don't know what kind of trick your pulling here Onslaught, But it's not going to work! I'm still going to smash you into bite sized pieces."

No one ignores Joe Fixit! I Punch him in the back. He elbows me in the nose.

" So your not just a hologram huh? Or maybe the crab man is using his telepathy to make me think your actually hurting me. Either way your going down fake boy."

" I'm as much the Hulk as you are buddy!" I say throwing a hay maker he catches, he crushes my fist then lands a shot in my jaw that throws me through a wall. " Ya just don't get it do ya. The madder I get the stronger..."

He interrupts" Oh shut up! Even if somehow you are Fixit , It doesn't matter We have the same powers , and I can madder a lot faster than you, besides I start off from a lot higher base than you do !You have no chance against me!"

He grabs me and puts me in a head lock. Then he moves his arms an' starts squeezin' my head. A voice that sounds very similar to ours " Is that any way to deal with is a part of us? Well your all just a part of me any way, and it's time I retook control of my mind. "

We turn to see the Professor Hulk.

The Gladiator Hulk let's me go " What is this? This is your life? Look On slaught throw all the aspects of me you want! It's still gonna end the same way me crushing your armor."

Prof. Grabs Glads, " No one can stop the Onslaught!"

Glads looks surprised. " Oh yeah Onslaught did use you as a pawn once didn't he?" Glads smacks Prof. " That won't stop me none of this will stop me! Your all fake ! I'm the real Hulk!"

A growl comes from no where. The the wall of the mansion is knocked down and, We're all shocked to see Salad Brain, comin, outta a storm.

" Your not Real Hulk! Hulk is Hulk! Hulk will smash all of you puny fakes!" He jumps on me first after battling for a little while I figure what's goin' on. Onslaught is makin' us all fight each other.

"Salad brain ! Stop it I'm not the enemy!" I yell.

" Hulk Doesn't Care!" he raves !" Hulk only cares about shutting fake Hulk up!"

Finally he knocks me down hard then he pounds Glads down"

Joe are you alright?" I hear from a puny Voice. " Banner! Why the Hell did Onslaught manifest you?"

" I'm not sure he did I think maybe Professor X did." He says.

" Then X is loonier that we thought. What are you gonna do ? cry on everyone ?"

Mean while Prof is raving to dumbo how he should serve Onslaught.

" Smart Hulk, may be controlled by red man ! But no one controls Hulk! " He then slams Prof into the ground. Then dummy is knocked down by something. After a quick battle I see what it is . The one hulk I didn't wanna see here the mindless one!



He glares at us all. Then let's out a huge roar. " GRRRRRAAAAAAAAA!"

We all get ready to battle. When Puny Banner gets between us . " Hulks! Stop fighting each other! It's him It's Onslaught who's trying to use all of us! Your always saying your the strongest one there is prove it! Stop Onslaught!"

Prof 's mind clears " Yes No one tells me what to do! Your going to pay the price of messing with me freak !"

" Hulk Will Smash crab man !"

"GRRRRRRRRRRR!"

I let out a laugh what are we waitn' for?"

Glads just says " This isn't over., but first let's teach crab man a lesson!"

Where's Richards?

I broke into the Baxter building. After smashing through all their defenses I find that rock brain Ben Grimm. He babbles "Wotta revoltin' development this is." Before I smack him through a door. http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.spell.gif
Check Spelling

He leaps at me through the door . " I was gonna leave the country but I guess I'll take ya out before I go."

He leaps right into my fist.

Thing gets in some good punches. Bit he's nothing compared to me I'm the strongest one there is. When I was about to finish, him I feel a force field around him?

" Okay Invisible Woman you might as well show your self." I order.

Now she's the one who starts acting all confident." Why are you here endangering my children Hulk? Your always saying you just want to be left alone. Why are you attacking our home?"

" Forget the posturing." I say. "Just tell me where your rubber man, husband is ."

" I wish I knew ." She answers." He's out helping Tony Stark with his stupid war. They're putting our friends in prison for not going along with the Registration Act."

What's a registration Act? Doesn't matter, so the superheroes are at war. I can use that. Then I hear this noise like Voip! I turn around , and see this guy in a hood.

" I know you from somewhere." I say.

" Of course you do Hulk I'm Capitan Koma

" Yeah I remember you. Fixit met you your Magneto's flunky."

He spits" "I'm no one's flunky. Look I know you have no reason to trust me, but I know your not afraid of me your not afraid of anything. I hear your after Xavier. I can give Xavier what do you say?"

" Your only wanting me to take down baldy, to accomplish some goal of yours huh?" He nods. " What do I care? I want my revenge so Take me to him."

I'm teleported, right next to him . Except Xavier was gone, It was Onslaught. I utter
" Hulk Smash Red Man."

"FOOLISH HULK! I KNOW YOUR MIND IS NO LONGER CLOUDED!"

" It was worth a try Baldy. I see you just couldn't take the stress of your little dream, not working out, or did something bad happen between you and the little catholic chick. Ya just couldn't take it anymore and you let Onslaught out to play again huh?"

This sick laughter comes from the metal king crab YOUR ONE TO TALK BANNER! YOU RELEASE A HALF TON OF RAGE EVERY TIME YOU STUB YOUR TOE! YOU KNOW I MUCH PREFERRED YOU WHEN YOU TALKED IN THIRD PERSON! BEHOLD MY MIGHTY HAND!

A blast hits me, it doesn't seem to do anything.

" Your getting weak in your old age Onslaught. Now get ready to get ripped outta your Armor Punk!"

Then I hear this voice behind me . " Ya ain't rippin' no one outta no where ya mook! In fact yer gonna get a whuppin' for keepin' me repressed do long!"

I realize that's my voice. What I see next is impossible. " Whatta ya lookin' at? It's really me ya poser Big Joe Fixit. An' I'm back."

Now to take down IronMan

Since Xavier is off the freaking planet, I decide to go after Tony Stark. I fins him leading a bunch of Heroes, against a bunch of other heroes in New York. So the spandex weirdos have finally lost it and started going after each other.

Whatever I'm going to crush them all! I jump in on the fight. I slap away Warbird, who flies after me I don't know which side she's on and don't care. I slam into Iron Man.


He turns on me saying " Hulk! Bruce we what we did was for your own good..."

" Don't give me that Crap Stark! You people are all afraid of me!Your also Jealous of my strength! No one is stronger than me and that eats everyone of you up doesn't it?"

He blast those puny repulsors at me . I'm knocked back a little bit, but that's not a problem. I walk through the blasts and right up to Iron man . I tear off the billonare pissant's armor.

I'm suddenly struck by thunder. Stark runs away. I turn to see Thor. So that wannabe god still hasn't learned You don't mess with me.

Looks like I'll have to reeducate him. I punch him in the jaw then he hits me with that stupid hammer. It shocks me , but all that does is make me mad . I get stronger he doesn't.

We go back and forth I hit or kick him, and he throws thunder at me , or hits me with the hammer, blabbing how he's the son of Odin and all that. Finally he gets smart and flies above me firing bolts at me from there.

Ok So I Throw a gas truck at him. You know it's weird the whole time I'm having to slap some sense in another costumed goon while doing this. Any way it explodes in his face. It didn't really hurt him but it did surprise him .

I leapt on him and Beat him silly.

Then I'm blasted by another repulsor Ray I turn around and see ironman in another Hulkbuster armor I charge him and I'm punched in the face. And knocked through a building. I Leap out, and he blasts me again. He does pretty good until he makes the dumb mistake of trying to strangle me.

I pull his arms off of my neck then he tries to out Power me. I rip out some circuits and And squeeze him in the armor, Then I toss him into The Hudson river. After beating down the other heroes, especially that doofus Hank Pym I leap towrds my next target, The Baxter Bulding.

Hulk Smash!

I stare at all the wimps that had gathered at Professor X'S place. I told them how it was going to go, They were going to tell me where Xavier was or they'd get smashed. They pick the stupid option and attack. First was Cyclops, and Wolverine.




Cyclops was easy enough, I walked through is beam like a duck through water. When I got close the punk went into the fetal position. Now Wolverine is another matter. No matter how many times I knock him down he keeps getting back up .

So I threw him into some room where there was this chair and a helmet hooked up to it , and not much else. We thrash the place . Finally Wolverine is buried under the debris.

Warbird goes all crazy at this moment and blasts me , it moves me back a little . Then she tries punching me. " You may be strong girl. " I say but not enough to do any damage to the Hulk."

I powerbomed her through the floor . Next up I'm blasted by all these saiyans and Storm together. Now this hurts . I stomp the ground . Knocking any heroes off their feet.

I then grab Goku's leg and use him like a club to knock down any of the flying ones. This is going well until they all regroup the big metal Russian idiot throws the runt at me. I punch him up into Trunks. His arm gets slashed.

Colossus tries to fight me in hand to hand, not a good idea against the me I Kick him into the hangar and. Beat him over the head with the their planes . The place starts to crumble from all the fighting.

I grab the one eyed wimp and scream in his face " Where's Xavier?"

" He's gone , he left to help Jon the intergalactic Gladiator, with a mission in Space." Damn it!

" If you make it though this alive pretty boy." I growl. " Tell Xavier I'm coming for him!" I drop him and pull the support beams of the mansion Making debris fall all over them.

Good I leap away, looking to find Reed Richards or Tony Stark next.

Meanwhile the heroes pull them self out of the debris. Shi sees Wolverine go pull his motorcycle from the wreckage.

" Good it ain't damaged."

" Where are you planning on going?" asks Shi.

" Ya saw what he just did didn't ya he's more dangerous then he 's ever been. I'm gonna go an put an end to him for good."

" Logan that's crazy talk !"

" Good thing I'm crazy then."

" What do you think he wants with the Professor?"

" Don't know , and don't care, All I know is he has ta be stopped. Stay here an' help the X-men get any body trapped outta there."

Wolverine jumps on his Motorcycle and drives off towards the green Goliath.

At last!

My ship crash lands on a planet. I start to wander around . I know one thing This isn't Earth. I have no idea what this place is. I just know I want another ship. How did the craft I have get here?

Banner it must be ! He sabotaged my settings! I became angry and punched several trees. Then these armored things swarm me talking about " the Mistress." someone else that wants a piece of the Hulk I see.

I Thunder clap and knock them all back . " Puny armored men are like puny humans , and the puny pinkies, They never leave me alone! They just keep messing with me ! Pushing me ! Now I push Back!"

I start slamming them with a huge boulder the shape of a club, some of them try to poke me with theses stupid knives. They break against my skin. I see this castle., and some girl. I reconise her one of the X-men!




I leap at her and some kind of invisible shield stops me. I'm not letting that stop me. I start punching it. She laughs until cracks form in it. Then her eyes widen in surprise. I love it when that happens.


" So the rumors are true ? You have infinite strength."

" I'm the strongest one there is! And you'll find that out personally if you don't take me to Xavier!"

She starts laughing again! This annoys me. " I don't see what's funny mutie!"

" Well first off you calling me a " mutant"I'm a goddess!"

" Thor's claimed that as well, I've fought him to a standstill more than once. Next time I meet him I'll finish him! You too unless you give me what I want!"

She smirks " Revenge on the ' illuminati?' "

" Get out of my Head!"

" Tell me Dr Banner, what do you think of the death of every human on the Earth?"

" I'm not Banner! And I don't care what happens to them. As long as I'm left alone ."

That's when I figured out what was going on. This girl has gone nuts. Whatever If she wants to play super villain it's not my business.

She' was reading my thoughts the whole time. " Ok I'll send you back to Earth. We both have the same goal. The Death Of Professor Charles Xavier. Since you won't interfere in my plans There's no reason I couldn't send you back."

She waves her hands next thing I know I'm in New York. But the place has been trashed. I see a paper the headline says" Registration act law." I have no idea what that is. Or what happened to the city. What I do know I have to choose which one of those traitors gets smashed first.

I want revenge!

After Fixit's fight with Henchman, Banner was offered a chance to save the world. I stopped the Rouge S.H.I.EL.D. Satelite. They lied to us saying it was a Hydra device then Xavier, Doctor Strange, Reed Richards and Tony Stark took control of the shuttle I was riding on. They sent me into space.


I ended up on a planet where I fought as a gladiator. I Took care of the punks that thought they could control The Hulk. Now I've found a way back to Earth. If I were you I wouldn't sleep well at night.

Your powers, and weapons won't save you this time. You puny humans have betrayed the Hulk for the last time. Just know I'm coming for you Especially the ones who call themselves " The Illuminati." You've made me angry. No one will like me when I'm angry.

Cage match!

Continues from Here

I had the Henchman pretty well beaten , until he yelled " overdrive!" A red aura forms around the kid's body and hall the sudden he hits like Thor . I recognize that trick . That bum Goku's been teaching him.


Heh I guess Henchman ain't heard the madder I get the stronger I get! He slams me with axe handle punch. He then tries to hit me with a spin kick I grab his foot pick him up by the leg And use him like a tennis racket against the cage.

His demon friends come in, an I pull them in and crush them up into their master.

" Give up boy! Ya ain't gotta chance. " I say ta him Hey I was feelin' generous.

The red aura gets brighter he smashes free from the monsters. He puts me in a front face lock.

I laugh " I watch Wrasilin' too." I push him offa my head, Put him up inna airplane spin then I finish the combo with a Northren Lights Suplex.


He gets back up and busts my jaw with a few punches. I chuckle as it heals up almost instantly. " One last chace to give up."

" Why would I do that?" he asks .



I charge at him yellin " Cause you haven't a prayer of beatin' me!"

We exchange punches until I hear a poppin' sound an' he collapses.

" Aw didja break yer little battery?"

The guy gets up and says " That's not stopping me. " Heh! Ya got spunk kid! The Abomination woulda been cryin' by now! Ya know ya got my respect if nothin' else."

I'M about ta put the last punch on 'im when the cage is pulled offa the ring . I look up an see a bunch of Green Lanterns being led by Guy Gardener. " Thanks grey boy ! We'll take from here." laugh Gardener.

" Hey Punk wait a minute! Your gonna take him on after he fights his heart out?"

" So? you just made our job easier for us."

I punch the smug little ring bearer through the roof . Then I grab the cage and smack a few more then these yellow things attack them. I turn ta see Henchman up and ready to go a few more rounds with me .

" My power cell is back online let's go!"

" Heh Nah that's ok. Ya did good let's call this fight a draw. "

The audience boos. I answer them with a " Shut up!" they all get quiet . then the Green Lanterns show up again. " Looks like they don't know when ta quit."

The announcer shrieks " Place your bets folks Joe Fixit , and The Henchman versus These Green Lanterns."

" Cool so we're tagging now ?" said Henchman.


" Yeah too bad fer them!"

Heh!

So The coliseum has almost set up the ring for the fight. Ms. Berengetti. Called me up to tell me this. Well looks like The Henchman will need to learn this ok. I went to the Local 432.


I completely destroyed the building , knocked out the teeth of whoever was in there. Then I painted the message on what was left of the building after smashing it down. Some chick in a constrictor suit gave me some lip, so I tied her up in her own coils.


Now even if the henchman doesn't know it he will soon. All his friends already know it . Ya don't mess with Joe Fixit.

Bloodhunt part 2 : Cable

It took me some time to find Cable, He apparently went to some planet to find Deadpool's sidekicks. I found 'em at some school in Westchester. "Why are we trying to educate this loser ?" Said this weird green video game thing. "It is a lost cause."


This smaller purple thing said " Yes Let's turn him into a throw rug!"

The thing they were talking about was a furry monster with horns. It looked pretty tough , but acted like a scared three year old. Cable was holding his fore head in tired manner.

I paid the video game creatures, to slip a drug in Nate's Soda. He was starting to wobble on his feet. Then I jump 'im. I get a TK blast for my efforts. He pulls a lazer on me, and fires it.

It bounces off my chest. Meanwhile the sidekicks were leaving the video game ones were trying to convince the big one to steal DVDs and one was saying "We smoke as we steal DVDs."


Cable tried to reach into my mind. but I saw him sweatin' yeah this was gonna be easy. He holds up a tk shield which I punch through easily. I grab him take out a needle from my pocket and take some blood.

I drop him on the ground after that Nate say " Hulk don't give him the blood."

" So you know who my client is eh?"

" If it's who I suspect it is, the world could be in danger. "

I laugh at him, " I don't care about this planet full of puny humans that have hounded me over the years. All I care about is gettin' what I want."

I leapt away. I delivered the blood at some weird book store. This pale faced man gave me a suitcase of money, after he made sure the blood was Logan's and Summer's When I get back to Vegas, Some of my associates tell me That AIM reject The Henchman's been sayin' I'm afraid of him.

Ok now ya've done it. Henchman it's time to cash the check your mouth is writin'. I know plenty of fight promoters in here in Vegas. If you want to prove your not yellow like your outfit You'll meet me at the Coliseum Casino where we'll fight in an Adamantium cage.

What do ya say?

Blood hunt part 1: Wolverine

So I get this message on my machine." Mr Fixit I have tried to contact you before. I'm willing to pay you $100,000 for blood samples of Logan aka Wolverine , and Nathan Summers Aka Cable. They must both be delivered at me to an address I have emailed to you. You will be given the money after delivery of both samples.



I had no idea this guy tried to contact me before, I sense Banner had something to do with this. I look on the news ta see if Logan or the X-men were doing anything at the moment , what do you know they were fightin' the Dark Phoenix and Magneto's Brotherhood of Puny mutants.

I also saw some guy in a AIM uniform and the constrictor. Well looks like I'm gonna need some help with this one if nothing else I've studied this Henchman guy. He has a battery that allows for my powers to just make him stronger.

Not to worry My partner has been watching him on that game show for weeks now. I call him up. After we get ta Washington. I go over the plan with him. " Alright we act like we're all heroic and comin ta save the day. Then I get close ta short stuff, an ' take a blood sample got it.

He kind looks lost in though. " Maybe we should actually help out? If that freak Magneto wins he'll put my Woman in a concentration camp, then kill my children."

" Ya ain't goin' soft on me are ya?"

" Just thinking out loud." He said watching Wolverine fight the Hench man. The runt looked like he losin' but the problem wit' Logan is he can take a lot of abuse. Sometimes he'll take it on purpose to put his opponent in a false sense of security then he'll gut 'em.

What can I say? I've fought Wolverine a lot. " Ok " I say " Let's do this. "

I fall on Mags from above slammin' him into the pavement. The Constrictor catches me with those Adamantium coils of his. " I almost beat you when you were green Hulk. I 'll destroy you now that your weaker!'

I grin at him " Who says I'm weaker?" I pull the coils to me, and he slams into my fist. The Hench man summons some kind of Demon which the hairy midget already cut in half.

" Well Henchman Ya think yer gonna make yer reputation by beating the Hulk huh? Sorry but I ain't got time for you but I think you know my partner here? "



Vegeta shows off by going Supersaiyan and then Slammin' into the Henchman causing a Sonic boom. " Vegeta! " Hollers the Henhcman. " Your not going to win this one with cheap shots!"

" Your right! I'm going to win by being stronger and faster human!"

" I'm not completely human any more! Because of you ''Hero' I'll pay you back for that in spades Alien!" As they hit each other with superspeed punches I walked over to Logan ready put him down when the Phoenix blasts me.

" Stupid Hulk you shouldn't have interfered in my war !"

" Hey I don't care about you toots! So do yourself a favor an' back off!"
She blasts all the skin off of my body I regenerate it, she does it again and again. gettin' me mad !

" Look Red! I didn't want ta do this but you made me angry!" I slam my hands together the shock wave stuns her. I follow up by jumpin' on her And landin punch after punh I then hear " Jeanie Nooooooooo!"

Next thing I know six claws are cuttin' inta my back. I slap him offa me. The I remember Wolvie's who I'm after. He recover s quick and gets that metal goon to throw himself at me the metal cuts deep. I pull his claws out wipe off my blood then I use his own hands ta cut him open I put a vial inta the wound before it heals gettin' the sample.

I'm ready ta leap outta there. I see Vegeta walk over too me with a bruise on his cheek and a cut over his eye. " Hmph. He got in a few shots, but I won."

" Well let's get outta here!"

I Leap away while I see vegeta looking as if he wants to help the X-men whatever I got what I came for .

Problem solved?

Banner watched the statues today. Th problem I don't trust the founder of the Panty club for men to protect anything. So when it was my turn with the body I called Vegeta. That was after listenin' ta three messages askin. for Pizza.


Any way I finally got i'm. "Hey Vegeta!" I said I got a little problem."

" So?" he answers

" Look punk! yer my partner an I know yer on some game show but I need some help. "


" Bah ! You'd think the Hulk could take care of himself!" he said.

" You know about my little day light problem you gonna help or not?"

He sighs and says " Fine what do you want?"

" I want yer son ta watch this place during the day. not the whiny one or the blue haired psycho."

" Miari ok fine."

As the night goes on Some ninjas and these others attack he place. I beat them down until I notice the sun comin' up oh no not now!

Two new jobs

I was paid ta help Black plague with his gang war against the Kingpin. But Puny Banner had to get in the way, and drugged himself. He also locked himself in a vault.

My healin' ability took care of the drug an' a steel vault was nothin to my strength. I end up gettin' there late. So I ended up keepin" Bloodscream an' Roughouse out of the fight between Plauge and Kingpin.


The two ended up wimpin' out and became partners . Not that I care I got what I wanted outta the whole deal everything I wanted. Plague wanted me to join as a permanent Henchman, but I told him I like ta be my own boss.


When I get back to my office I find a message on my machine from a Captain Koma He's creating a strike force ta take out the Terminarix. I call him and say I'll do it for half price since takin' down the robot will stick in Magneto's craw.

Word on the street says the Swamp Thing is putting together a strike force to take down the amazin' pink mutant as well. Looks like he's in fer a fun time. The next night Banner left a tape recording sayin' I got the job at Oike gallery one hitch I had to work night and day.

Memed again

That runt Wolverine tagged me with Deadpool's Meme. But since I'm busy gettin' the new office remodeled it took me a couple a days ta get to it. I hear Magneto wants revenge on me ? Bah! He'll get smashed an' like it.



I should go find Wolverine and pay him back for this. Then again the last beatin' I put on the midget was pretty severe. So I guess we'll call it even. Now Wilson's waste of my time.

1. Other than yourself, pick the contestant that remains in Last Gladiator Standing you think will win? Aoc 's pretty funny.


2. What's your favorite color of Pink? none.

3. What's your favorite episode of Golden Girls none again.

4. If you were Anna Nicole Smith, what would you do with your child? I'm surprised that kid's alive.

5. How many figures am I holding up? Heey is that a green Hulk? Where's yer Fixit Figure? Get back here ya little punk!

6. Decipher this code: *66hsther;o adthaodf stop Deadpool really is havin' Henchman's baby. I did not wanna know that.

7. What's wrong with this Meme? It bugs me.

8. Create your own question and answer it Whos the Stongets one there is? Big Joe.


10. Do you have a man crush on Luke Cage? Man Crush? Well I did once crush Iron man, and Spider-man oh his head .

12. Are you the weakest link? That would be salad brain.

13. Are you prepared for the Dalek invasion over here? I 'll smash 'em.

14. Switch lives with one blogger for a year? Problem is I switch lives with two othr bloggers all'a time Banner and Green Hulk.

15. Who has the best sidekick in LGS? While I would like ta see how Magnifcant Becca really is, I'd have ta say Xavier.

16. If you watched the season finale of Doctor Who, what did you think'; Didn't watch it.

17. Do you know who Lookwell! Is? No unless he's got money otherwise I don't care.

18. Tag 3 people you wouldn't share socks with. No one tells Joe Fixit what ta do.

Takin' away Magneto's toy.

Th' company that made th cyborg that Magneto's been usin' hired me ta bring it back. After givin' me an analysis of the energy this thing put out go home and wait for Banner ta take a look at it.

When It's my turn at the body again I see he's built some kinda doohicky that finds her. I find her fightin' Wolverine an' Storm. She knocks 'em down. Her makers told me her force fields can be stopped by a sonic attack. So I give 'er the most devastating' one on the Planet my Thunder Clap.


She goes down for a minute An' I make sure she stays down with and electromagnetic disrupter. As I'm about to take the Fembot away a certain little runt objects.



" Fixit! That ' bot is to dangerous! She has ta be crushed."

" Not gonna happen midget!" I say. " Now get outta th' way, Or make you get out of the way!"

He pops those damn claws of his and Jumps at me. I swat him away in midair. when actually does some kind of flip in the air lands feet first on a wall the springs at me again usin' the momentum to cut through my chest.

" Ok runt now ya went an' got me mad!" I scream.



I punch him he slashes me, I finally grab him by those claws of his and throw him around I smash him into the pavement then a wall, finally I jump about 1,000 feet an' piledrive Logan into th street.

The little punk still wants to fight he cuts my legs. I just stomp on his head several times rattlin' his brains until I can convince him to listen to what I gotta say.

" Listen here stupid! If ya want me to rip ya aprt like Greenie did I can, Or I can let you X-men know about somethin' that can get rid of Magneto for you>"

" Cough! Grrrr!" He says at me as pin his arms down with my feet. " Look I was at Capsule Corp recently And trunks wanted ya to know about a gun that takes out Magnet boy's powers. It's only temporary , but if I know you you'll already go tazmanian devil on him before he can get them back."

" Dammit Fixit! That Terminator is too dangerous for whoever I payin ya ta get it for 'em . "

" Ya see Logan That's the problem I don't care. Now ya can chase me , or you can take out your worst enemy, And hey I hear Bulma likes short guys with funny hair ya might have a shot. " I leap away leavin' Wolverine to heal in peace.

I get the Money from the companies President , it' three times my normal salary. Well It look Like Fixit Inc. is movin' up in the world I bought an office building, with plenty of room for Banner's little experiments.

He can have it on one condition he doesn't try to cure himself. My offices are going to be on the middle floors An' I'll be livin' in th' Penthouse. This is gonna be sweet.

New jobs.

Well today Trunks called me to help get M.o.d.o.k. Outta his front yard. Well his parents' yard any way I hear he don't live there no more. Well The big headed freak put up a pretty good fight.

Trunks joined the fight , He wasn't doing as good as other saiyans I've seen. Then again that could a been because of Freako's Mind powers. The boy surprised us all by turning Ss4.




While M.O.D.O.K. was reeling from a psychic backlash, I start beating on him. A bunch of burning attacks, Thunder Claps, and just regular super punches The weirdo finally cuts out and runs saying " A henchman isn't worth Fighting the Hulk and a freak boy."

The money I got outta this deal was well worth the aggravation . At this rate Capsule Corp might as well put me, on the permanent payroll. Well at least this one was easy not compared to this other job I've been workin'

I was hired by this guy's family ta find him,



And tell him to stop dressing like that. I haven't been able ta find him anywhere, then again, If I dressed like that I would hide too.