Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Red haired stranger.

Continued from here. Damn Leader messing with my mind the way he did. No! Emotions are bad I must not give into them. That's the way of the Hulk. Always giving in to violence and passions.

I'm a logical man, not a monster. The events of the last few days have shown me that I must use all of my energies to rid the world of the Hulk, and Joe Fixit both.

That's why I'm working on the Gamma Extractor. Just when I'm about to test it. This glow dazzles me. When I can see again there is this huge readhaired man in my laboratory.

" Who are you? " I ask. " You look familiar...But."

Meanwhile, in another Universe. The powerful being known as Khaos watches the scene. His General an alternate universe version The Angel asks " Master if your trying to determine how strong Kodiak is why would you send him to that wimp ?"

" Because Bruce Banner is more than he seems. " Khaos tells him telepathically " All that's needed is to add anger. "

The being uses the combined mental might of Onslaught, and Stryfe, to reach out across the void of space time. To make the ever Uncanny Kodiak seem to Bruce Banner to transform into the Abomination.

The red haired man suddenly becomes Emil Blonsky. The man No He's a true monster calling him a man is too good for him, that murdered my wife. My anger is unbelievable at this moment. Wait anger? Nooooooooo RAAAAAAAAARGH! YES! Hulk is free!

Hulk looks over , at machine, That Puny Banner wanted to use to kill Hulk. Hulk smashed Puny Machine! Hulk feel weird Someone in Hulk's head! Raaargh! Get out of Hulk's Mind!!!

Back in the other Universe... Khaos Is forced out the Hulk's mind violently. " I don't believe it! He pushed me out of his head, but no matter what What I wanted has been accomplished Once The Brute sees Kodiak, He'll attack him.

Hulk Look around. Big Ears is gone. All Hulk see is red haired man. Wait Hulk know him. Bear Man! " You!" Hulk yell. " Your Bear Man that act like little claw man!You tricked Hulk then acted like you beat Hulk! After that You then date Cousin Jennifer, then Break her heart!"

" Yeah that's me Hulk." Bear Man says.

" Bah! Hulk will show You ! Hulk Will smash Bear Man and prove to him That Hulk is strongest one there is!"

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Santa Hulk is jolliest one there is!

Hulk decided since Doom wants to dress like Santa , and cause trouble Hulk would dress like Santa, and give kids toys.

Hulk not sure why people Hulk knows wahave turned into little kids, but Hulk will give them presents anyway. Though Lil' Iron Man will only get coal He's been really bad this year.

Hulk wonder why Cousin Jennifer is crying. Probably because she got turned into little kid. Hulk Is not sure that Claw Man is really turned little he was pretty small when Hulk first met him.

Hulk wish you Happy Holidays.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Bringin' down bighead.

I wake up with the Leader's Grinnin' lima bean head glarin' at me.

" Your not the Hulk I was expecting."

" Well Big green an' stupid couldn't come out an' play Leader. Ya got me instead."

" Well maybe this could help with my plans ." He leers " You'll at least know that there is no hope in struggling against me , while your Green Counterpart Would stupidly rail against me."

" Well I guess I ain't as smart as you thought I was Sterns. Because I'm about ta crush ya into jelly."

He puts his hand up in a "stop " gesture. " Look at us we were both created by the Gamma ray, we should not fight we should both rule over the inferior humans."

I laugh at that, " Yeah well I'll tell ya somethin' I have the power to get what I want already. "

He looks shocked. " That stupid building, and the women you sully yourself with are all you want? Surely you jest."

" Money ,shelter , Women, clothes , respect. That's all I need. Not all of us are megalomaniacs like You Leader."

" So sad ." He shakes his head " Unlimited power but so limited by your imagination. I will give you one more chance to join me willingly my Gamma brother."

" I ain't got no Brother. The only family I need is my cousin."

" Well it looks I'll have to force you." he pushes some button. And this massive pain Starts goin' all over my body. " I will break you Hulk!"

You'd think after all this time He'd figure it out. Pain just gets me mad And the Madder I get the stronger I become. Including' my healing ability. Finally I feel this Explosion inside And the pain stops.

" Impossible!" he shouts. " Your healing power destroyed my control device. "

" An' your Next!" I growl.

Then he shouts somethin' that confuses me. " Harpy to my aid!" Next thing I know I'm blasted from behind I turn to see her.

So Bubble brain turned the Betty Clone into a Harpy? Well isn't that special. She blasts me again. " Not even you can survive my Hell bolts! You should have bowed to my Leader."

" Sorry he ain't my type." Now this sucked. She had the range and the blasts so Ok these things are Gamma powered meaning they hurt. Then I see something I need lead shielding from a chamber where Leader conducts his experiments.

I tear a piece of it off and toss it at her. Her first instinct is to zap it which does nothing she's then smacked by it. I jump on it and wrap it around her body to prevent anymore " Hell bolts."

Again. I'm blasted from behind this time by some doo hickey The Leader Came up with. " You don't deserve the power of the Atom Banner ! So now I take it from you ! "

He was suckin' out my Gamma radiation. I was getting weaker by the second. No! No way! Am I lettin' Banner be rid of me! I charge the Leader, and by the time I get to'im I'm crawling my skin turnin' pink.

" He was putting the power into himself he was growin' lookin' all weird. " The Power The Power" With my last bit of strength I break the machine Knockin' Leader into a bunch of other tech it explodes somehow the gamma energy goes back into me .

My skin is back to healthy Grey. I'm about to leap out When Harpy screams. " Hulk! The computers you smashed their causing a chain reaction! The whole base is about to explode! Save me!"

" Why Should I?" I ask.

" I can make you feel good, just like last like the other time Please!"

I snort . " Sorry lady! I ain't into green bird women with Banner's dead wife's face." I leap out of the ceiling and away from the place before it blows up to High Heaven. Damn ! I don't know where I am or how I'll get back to Vegas. Looks like I better start leapin'

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


I don't remember much about the mess Dr Strange got us into with the Defenders, just some kid in a Superman suit. I don't know but I'm Bruce Banner again when I wake up. In the confusion I escape from there.

For some reason Fixit has been keeping me away from Betty. Probably so he could see that brain dead girl Karen Tart. When I finally get back to Vegas. I find her in some hotel.

I ask her to lunch. After spending the whole day together I ask her. " I thought you were dead. How did you survive The Abomination's blood poisoning?"

" Let's not talk about that. " She answers " Let's go to your place."
The next few hours are wonderful. After wards, she offers me a drink, " To keep up my strength."

That reminds me to look at the clock , good a few more hours before I transform into Joe. Then I feel weak, and sick . The TV In turns itself on.

" Hello Dr Banner." Says the figure.

"Leader?" I question. I can't believe this. My head's swimming what's wrong with me?

" Now this is a first." boasts the green head on my television screen."The Hulk smarter than Bruce Banner. I thought that Jo Fixit would keep you away from my clone of your dearly departed wife, and I'd have to go with a new plan. But you obliged me by falling into my trap. It's been a while huh Bruce?"

" What do you want this time Mad man?" I try to sound more confident than I am.

He laughs. " I Want the Hulk to be agent of conquest. All these years. I've been trying to destroy him, when I should have been using him. Well That's all we have time to discuss for now My dear Doctor, since by my calculations your about to black out." He turns to the Betty clone. " If you would please bring him to me."

The last thing I hear before I'm plunged into darkness is " Yes my Leader."

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Defenders?

Well I'm makin some progress in catchin' The so called Thunderbolts.I caught this dork the Porcupine, well how can ya miss the guy? When he's wearin this?

He shot spikes at me that just bounced off my skin. I knocked 'im out with my index finger. Next up was Doctor Octopus. Now this guy I don't like.

Ya see sometime back He beat up the prof with Adamantium arms. Now why the Professor Hulk didn't just grab on to one of the arms an use him as a yoyo, I don't know.

Well today I took back the reputation of the Hulk. He was bragging about how he got adamntium arms again, and how they were unbreakable. He wraps around me I then punk this loser.

"You know now that yer arms are unbreakable, that just means ya can't get away! "

I leap over the city. That's the thing about New York that 's different than Vegas, In Vegas they'll be gawkers are betters or somethin' But here in the big Apple the superfights aren't worried about unless they get near someone.

So no one notices the big Grey man with a fat octopus attached to him leapin' by. He lets go An' I grab the arms " Aw we aint done yet Octavis." I land on top a The Baxter buildin'. And I spin around like I was a fair ride or somethin'.

After he throws up he sobs he surrenders.
" Yer dang right ya do pal " I gruffly say As I tie him up to a flag pole with his arms. Upside down.

When I get my money I see Wonder tickling Doc Ock as other SHIELD agents try to get him outta the way so they can arrest Ock. Look I whisper in the Black Widow's ear " That guy needs a girlfriend." Before leapin' back to Vegas.

I see I got several job offers while I was away, that and some reports on the where abouts of some other Thunderbolts. Looks like The Punisher took care of Jack O' Lantern, and The Jester. Pfft those two were posers anyway.

The church wants me to kill the Magdelena? Uh uh I ain't a hitman. Especially not of the few people who treat me like I'm somethin' else besides a monster.

Here's an interestin' one Prof X wants me to collect some money from the Henchman. Hmmm I might just do that. Then this blindin' light surprises me. Outta it jumps Doc Strange. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

" My Friend you are needed!" he states melodramaticly.

I snort "Ya got some nerve pal. Ya send me out into space then pretend we're friends?"

" He seems hurt... " It was for the greater good..."

" No! It was because you fools were self righteous, thinkin' I was some kind of danger so ya take me off the game board! That you Stark, Richards, Namor and Xavier think of the world as."

" Look you've reconciled with Professor X You can do so with me as well, or not but your needed The Defenders Are once again called into action!"

" Like I'm goin' any where with you two so ya can stab me in the back again? No way!"

Strange shakes his head. " For what it's worth, Namor was against sending you into space."

"Who's goin' to stop ya from betrayin' me again eh?" As in answer The Silver Surfer, comes out of the portal " I will." He states.

I 'd heard Surfer was Galactus' Herald again. If he left the big guy it must be serious.

" Ok but if there's any funny business I'm tearin' all three of ya both apart." I can't believe i'm doin'' this but I go into the portal with my old teammates .