Saturday, December 23, 2006

Santa Hulk is jolliest one there is!

Hulk decided since Doom wants to dress like Santa , and cause trouble Hulk would dress like Santa, and give kids toys.

Hulk not sure why people Hulk knows wahave turned into little kids, but Hulk will give them presents anyway. Though Lil' Iron Man will only get coal He's been really bad this year.


Hulk wonder why Cousin Jennifer is crying. Probably because she got turned into little kid. Hulk Is not sure that Claw Man is really turned little he was pretty small when Hulk first met him.

Hulk wish you Happy Holidays.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Bringin' down bighead.

I wake up with the Leader's Grinnin' lima bean head glarin' at me.

" Your not the Hulk I was expecting."

" Well Big green an' stupid couldn't come out an' play Leader. Ya got me instead."

" Well maybe this could help with my plans ." He leers " You'll at least know that there is no hope in struggling against me , while your Green Counterpart Would stupidly rail against me."

" Well I guess I ain't as smart as you thought I was Sterns. Because I'm about ta crush ya into jelly."

He puts his hand up in a "stop " gesture. " Look at us we were both created by the Gamma ray, we should not fight we should both rule over the inferior humans."

I laugh at that, " Yeah well I'll tell ya somethin' I have the power to get what I want already. "

He looks shocked. " That stupid building, and the women you sully yourself with are all you want? Surely you jest."

" Money ,shelter , Women, clothes , respect. That's all I need. Not all of us are megalomaniacs like You Leader."

" So sad ." He shakes his head " Unlimited power but so limited by your imagination. I will give you one more chance to join me willingly my Gamma brother."

" I ain't got no Brother. The only family I need is my cousin."

" Well it looks I'll have to force you." he pushes some button. And this massive pain Starts goin' all over my body. " I will break you Hulk!"

You'd think after all this time He'd figure it out. Pain just gets me mad And the Madder I get the stronger I become. Including' my healing ability. Finally I feel this Explosion inside And the pain stops.

" Impossible!" he shouts. " Your healing power destroyed my control device. "


" An' your Next!" I growl.

Then he shouts somethin' that confuses me. " Harpy to my aid!" Next thing I know I'm blasted from behind I turn to see her.


So Bubble brain turned the Betty Clone into a Harpy? Well isn't that special. She blasts me again. " Not even you can survive my Hell bolts! You should have bowed to my Leader."

" Sorry he ain't my type." Now this sucked. She had the range and the blasts so Ok these things are Gamma powered meaning they hurt. Then I see something I need lead shielding from a chamber where Leader conducts his experiments.

I tear a piece of it off and toss it at her. Her first instinct is to zap it which does nothing she's then smacked by it. I jump on it and wrap it around her body to prevent anymore " Hell bolts."

Again. I'm blasted from behind this time by some doo hickey The Leader Came up with. " You don't deserve the power of the Atom Banner ! So now I take it from you ! "

He was suckin' out my Gamma radiation. I was getting weaker by the second. No! No way! Am I lettin' Banner be rid of me! I charge the Leader, and by the time I get to'im I'm crawling my skin turnin' pink.

" He was putting the power into himself he was growin' lookin' all weird. " The Power The Power" With my last bit of strength I break the machine Knockin' Leader into a bunch of other tech it explodes somehow the gamma energy goes back into me .

My skin is back to healthy Grey. I'm about to leap out When Harpy screams. " Hulk! The computers you smashed their causing a chain reaction! The whole base is about to explode! Save me!"

" Why Should I?" I ask.

" I can make you feel good, just like last like the other time Please!"

I snort . " Sorry lady! I ain't into green bird women with Banner's dead wife's face." I leap out of the ceiling and away from the place before it blows up to High Heaven. Damn ! I don't know where I am or how I'll get back to Vegas. Looks like I better start leapin'

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Defenders?

Well I'm makin some progress in catchin' The so called Thunderbolts.I caught this dork the Porcupine, well how can ya miss the guy? When he's wearin this?

He shot spikes at me that just bounced off my skin. I knocked 'im out with my index finger. Next up was Doctor Octopus. Now this guy I don't like.


Ya see sometime back He beat up the prof with Adamantium arms. Now why the Professor Hulk didn't just grab on to one of the arms an use him as a yoyo, I don't know.

Well today I took back the reputation of the Hulk. He was bragging about how he got adamntium arms again, and how they were unbreakable. He wraps around me I then punk this loser.


"You know now that yer arms are unbreakable, that just means ya can't get away! "

I leap over the city. That's the thing about New York that 's different than Vegas, In Vegas they'll be gawkers are betters or somethin' But here in the big Apple the superfights aren't worried about unless they get near someone.

So no one notices the big Grey man with a fat octopus attached to him leapin' by. He lets go An' I grab the arms " Aw we aint done yet Octavis." I land on top a The Baxter buildin'. And I spin around like I was a fair ride or somethin'.

After he throws up he sobs he surrenders.
" Yer dang right ya do pal " I gruffly say As I tie him up to a flag pole with his arms. Upside down.

When I get my money I see Wonder tickling Doc Ock as other SHIELD agents try to get him outta the way so they can arrest Ock. Look I whisper in the Black Widow's ear " That guy needs a girlfriend." Before leapin' back to Vegas.

I see I got several job offers while I was away, that and some reports on the where abouts of some other Thunderbolts. Looks like The Punisher took care of Jack O' Lantern, and The Jester. Pfft those two were posers anyway.

The church wants me to kill the Magdelena? Uh uh I ain't a hitman. Especially not of the few people who treat me like I'm somethin' else besides a monster.

Here's an interestin' one Prof X wants me to collect some money from the Henchman. Hmmm I might just do that. Then this blindin' light surprises me. Outta it jumps Doc Strange. Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

" My Friend you are needed!" he states melodramaticly.

I snort "Ya got some nerve pal. Ya send me out into space then pretend we're friends?"

" He seems hurt... " It was for the greater good..."

" No! It was because you fools were self righteous, thinkin' I was some kind of danger so ya take me off the game board! That you Stark, Richards, Namor and Xavier think of the world as."

" Look you've reconciled with Professor X You can do so with me as well, or not but your needed The Defenders Are once again called into action!"

" Like I'm goin' any where with you two so ya can stab me in the back again? No way!"

Strange shakes his head. " For what it's worth, Namor was against sending you into space."

"Who's goin' to stop ya from betrayin' me again eh?" As in answer The Silver Surfer, comes out of the portal " I will." He states.

I 'd heard Surfer was Galactus' Herald again. If he left the big guy it must be serious.

" Ok but if there's any funny business I'm tearin' all three of ya both apart." I can't believe i'm doin'' this but I go into the portal with my old teammates .