Sunday, May 28, 2006

How did Joe talk me into this?

I woke up this morning, and I find I'm in Las Vegas. I suppose I've been Fixit. I have to admit this is a lot better than the days when Joe would leave me too drunk to move, Or leave me on a cliff. Fixit left instructions on a job he wanted. He said I was to go to the Oike Gallery in New York, and if I messed this up he would kill me.

I would like to know how he could accomplish that without killing himself. Also going to NewYork is a lot easier for him than it is for me. Okay I found some of Fixit's money and flew there first class.


I wonder what he does with this money. I know he has a bit of a gambling addiction, But not so much that he needs as much as he gets. Could it just be greed? I never thought any part of myself was that much into material things. I guess I was wrong.

So The Oike gallery interview was a complete disaster. The owner wanted to Speak with Joe himself. Which is impossible during the day. Since either me , the childish Hulk or the Professor are active during the day.

Actually I haven't changed into the Professor in a while, I wonder if something happened to his personality? Long story short Miss Ishikawa, would not hire someone she didn't meet first hand. What made it worse was I saw Wolverine there.

I don't think he noticed me , which must mean something is on his mind. Lucky me I don't want to see what The Green savage Hulk can do to NewYork. Fighting Wolverine always made him just a bit angrier. Him and Ben Grimm always seemed to bring out the worst of the Hulk's nature.

So next mooring I wake up back in Las Vegas. Without a clue what Fixit did during the night, but very thankful that his healing ability can fight off most viruses. It was early when this girl named kristy walks in.

" Is Joe in?" She asks.

"Mr Fixit is unavailable during the day." I say.

" Why is he sleeping or something?"

" I guess you can say that. "

" Can't you wake him up it's important."

" I would if I could, but he's um,a very deep sleeper. "

" Has anyone ever told you your a very bad liar Mr?"

" Bruce Bann.... I mean Bancroft. "

" Well Mr. 'Bancroft' Tell Joe if he doesn't want to talk to me he should tell me in person instead of sending his dorky assistant to say he's a sleep. "

As she storms out the door I wonder what Joe's connection is with this girl. I wish I can find a way to control the Hulk's actions all of them, or at least remember what they do.

Monday, May 22, 2006

New jobs.

Well today Trunks called me to help get M.o.d.o.k. Outta his front yard. Well his parents' yard any way I hear he don't live there no more. Well The big headed freak put up a pretty good fight.

Trunks joined the fight , He wasn't doing as good as other saiyans I've seen. Then again that could a been because of Freako's Mind powers. The boy surprised us all by turning Ss4.




While M.O.D.O.K. was reeling from a psychic backlash, I start beating on him. A bunch of burning attacks, Thunder Claps, and just regular super punches The weirdo finally cuts out and runs saying " A henchman isn't worth Fighting the Hulk and a freak boy."

The money I got outta this deal was well worth the aggravation . At this rate Capsule Corp might as well put me, on the permanent payroll. Well at least this one was easy not compared to this other job I've been workin'

I was hired by this guy's family ta find him,



And tell him to stop dressing like that. I haven't been able ta find him anywhere, then again, If I dressed like that I would hide too.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Damn Kingpin.

I get to Fisk Tower, of course I get a welcomin' committee The enforcer Tombstone,



And the Rhino wearing purple things on his costume.




We trash th' building for a while until, I jump out of the way, and the two slam into each other, Knocking each other out. I seem to remember Rhino once did that to the Abomination while fighting greenie once.

That Rhino just can't work with anyone. Hammerhead runs at me screaming' on the 30 th floor.

I step out of the way. He slams through and falls into a garbage truck below. Man that had to hurt. Right before I get to the Kingpin's floor I'm stopped by a bunch of Henchmen.

I hear they want dental these days. Well they're going to need it now that I'm finished with them. I finally confront the Kingpin.



Stupidly he tries to fight me I smash him, and I find out he's a robot. " So Ya ain't got the guts to stay here an fight eh Kingpin?"

His face comes up on a screen. " Fighting you would just be stupid , now wouldn't Dr Banner?"

" I ain't Banner!" I yell.

" Whatever, Are you angry that your little relationship with a bimbo is ruined because of me."

"Nah, I don't care about that, I care about you sending those losers Roughouse and Bloodscream after me."

" Well I knew they wouldn't be able to kill you. I should have guessed you would have eventually discovered my ruse. But I could just pay you to rid West City Of Black Plauge and his mob."

" If ya came to me and asked I might have done it. I say. " I don't like that Cain punk anyway. But now you'll just have to have your selves a little gang war to settle your dispute. And I'm going to hit you where it hurts your pocket book!"

I take everything of value in the place , man he's got a lot of money, this should pay for rebuildin' office just fine. Then I pull Fisk Tower down\. I hope that Mook has to pay through the nose to rebuild it. Hey Why I'm In New York I might as well check out the Hellfire Club. An' spend some of the Kingpin's money on strippers. Heh Heh!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The one who ordered the hit revealed.

Joe somehow convinced me to go to the Crime alley bar I was asking The partrons questions. I made the bartender nervous. He kicked me out. Which was probably a good thing . Because someone was likely going to try and kill me.

I walk down an alley hoping no one notices me when a card almost hits me. "That was the first shot." said a man in a costume. " Next one is going through your forehead."

I run but several cards go into my back I fall behind a dumpster. I notice the sun has gone down. I don't know which is worse dying or turning into Fixit.

Shaddup Banner! When Bulls eye sees me come out from behind the dumpster his eyes almost bulge outta his head. He throws those sissy cards at my eyes. They just bounce off.

"I never miss! What happened?"

" Ya ain't got enough power to even hurt me, you loser. " I say as I grab him by his hands" But I have more than enough to hurt you." I slightly squeeze his hands they crack.

" Now Bullseye I know you know who tried to kill me , and people trying to kill me puts me in a real bad mood. Now if ya want to get outta this with some unbroken bones. you'll tell me who ordered the hit."

" The chameleon! " he yells in obvious pain. " He ordered the hit disguised as Black Plauge. He was told to do it by the Kingpin!"

" What's Fatso got against me?"

" Nothing he wanted you to kill the Grim Reaper, then you'd crush Plauge's organization. After that he'd move in and take over."

I let the costumed doofus go, and leap away. He kept saying " My hand , my hands." It's already been told on other blogs , how I met up with Cain in th' middle of a battle between him and Goku. An' How he teleported away so I won't elaborate on that. "

But whattaya know I Find him all beat up,a the hospital with his girlfriend. " She yells not again! Did you do this to his face?"

" No that was the clown Goku." Cain says " Do want some of the same Fixit?"

" Like you could hurt me little man . Look I came hear for two things first off I paid your medical bills. I didn't wanna but this puny voice in my head wouldn't stop naggin' me."

They look at me like I'm nuts. Though it ain't me that's fruit loops It's Banner, an he' th' one that kept naggin' me.

" The second?" said Reaper finally

" The one that started this whole mess was the Kingpin. Just thought you'd wanna know. If ya want a piece of Fatso you'd better just wait until I'm finished smashing him."

After that I start leapin' to New York, I know Lardo is sittin' in Fisk Tower just laughin' at us. I'm goin to make him feel some of the pain he's caused.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Poor girl

I made it into the hospital, without anyone noticing me. Good I don't want anyone paying attention to me. I ask where this Karen's room is. Finally I see her A boy named Goten gave her some kind of bean, and she healed faster than Wolverine.

Good, I turn to leave and see a young man who looks like Dr. Bulma Brief's husband, the one with the Napoleon complex. He looks at me then sniffs me. He grabs me slams ,me against a wall.

" You have some nerve Fixit! How dare you come here!" How does he know about I'm Fixit?

"How did you become this small creature? It doesn't matter though I demand You turn into your true form. I will not kill something with such a small power level."

" Look here," I say. " I can't control the change....."

he slaps me " No more lying you bastard!"


" Look for your own safety don't make me angry, believe you wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

" I don't like you now !" Your dying one way or another Joe! but I'm giving you a chance to die with what little honor, someone like you can have."

" I understand your anger."I say trying to calm this boy, for some reason the name Cain pops into my head. " But the thing your about to release is much harder to control than Fixit." I look at my hand and it was turning green.

" What are you talking about? " he asked. Lucky some man pulled Cain off of me. " Goku what are you doing here?"

" About to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life, That's the Hulk there."

Cain snorted. " The Hulk is a myth clown. A human cannot become that strong. "

I run out of there Because I know if I stay The Green Hulk will devastate this city in a rampage.

Meanwhile In the hospital.

" Goku you Fool! Fixit escaped because of you!"

" No you escaped a beating, I've fought the green guy once he's tough."

" Idiot! I should kill you! ,and your color blind he turns grey not green."

" If you want to try and kill me reaper follow me out to a wasteland I owe you for what you did to Goten anyway."

" Fine lead the way Clown!"

Now back to Banner....


I have to get out of town, If I've been found out it won't be long before the military comes looking.

No Way Mr Puny! We ain't goin'no where!

Fixit?

We can head back to Vegas after we find out who tried to off me not before got it?

Joe this is too dangerous.

Just lay low 'till tonight so no one let's out Guacamole for brains. Then when I come out tonight someone's gonna get what's coming to 'em.


I give in. Because I know he'll just come back here when I become him. I'm nowhere near my desert labs , where I can keep him locked up. It looks like someone's going to pay tonight.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

So what?

(continued from crime alley,)

While fighting Cain, Kristy's dumb sister got in the way of one of my punches. Dumb broad almost got killed, If I hadn't of pulled my punch at the last second. Kristy gives me this dumb little speech.

It's all about how " Cain wouldn't hurt you because I cared for yopu and he loved my sister." Blah! Blah! Blah!I'm washing my hands of this whole mes after I find out who tried to kill me. Apprently If I beleive the whiney twins it wasn't Reaper.

Roughouse an' Bloodscream are long gone. I'm gonna have to see what the word on the street is arrrrrrgh! A huge pain just struck me what's happining? I'm the Hulk I don't feel pain. No the sun's up! I'm turning back into Banner!




( looks around at the destruction.)

" What have you you done this time Joe?"

( flashes of an innocent woman being hurt. Go through his mind.)

Damn it! Joe ! No don't get angry. That won't help. Ok I have to make sure the woman is ok before I leave town.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Showin' Cain who's boss.

I leap ta Karen's place an' whattaya know Cain was there. I go in ther and find Kristy in there too. Oh well looks like Ol' Joe will have ta find 'imself somone new after this.

" Hey Joe!" she says innocently. " Sorry kid but i gotta do this."

" Huh?"

" Reaper Your boss tried ta off me! I think you have something ta do with that! Now we should step outside you'll either tell me what is goin' on or I'll beat outta ya!"

" Fine freak! though I have no idea about what you are talking about."


Vegeta's kid just as arrogant as he is. He thinks no one on th' planet is as strong as a saiyain he's about ta get a rude awakening.

He turns ss and beats on me a little I miss with my first few punches, he kick me down then, smirks at me that's when I rearrnge his dental work wit' a haymaker.
s he's bleedin' from 'is mouth I kick into th' air he turns al hairy


I guess taht' what they call ss4. He starts firin' blasts at me.


" Think yer smart don't ya getting outta my range? My range is longer than ya think. " I hit a Thunder Clap knockin' 'im down."

I then grab 'im by his tail knee 'im a few times. Then I pick'im up an yell " Why'd ya try ta kill me ? "




To be continued in Crime Alley

Monday, May 08, 2006

Somone put out a hit on me.

So I get back from a job Namor paid me for takin' out the Orca. if ya don't know who is He's a guy who gains pwer from havin' whales around him. I knock out the whales an' he yells "No my wife!"

That was disturbin.' So I get paid in Atlantian gold While I'm sittin' in my office, trying ta figure out how i'm gonna spend this. Roughouse an' Bloodscream break down my door.


" Master Fixit the end of your day art here."

" Huh?" I say.

" Were gonna kill ya." said Roughouse.


That I understand I let my fists do th' talkin for me by kncking the big dork out through the hole he knocked in my wall. Then the vampire jumps on me . I start bleedin like crazy.

While this is happenin.' The big hairy guy starts punchin' me this gets me mad. I slam the pale freak into his big buddy. Blood scream transforms inta somethin' and satrts babbilin' in old English.

I knew one thing I wasn't gonna let that undead creep touch me again. I unleash a Thunder clap. The two fly out I slam Roughouse inta his creepy buddy The Big guy starts bleedin'.

"Okay The big dork is gonna die if ya don't tell me who sent ya!" I say.

" Thou Doth not have the guts ta kill grey beahemouth."

" Ya wanna try me pal? " I say. " Ya better hurry not sure how much blood shaggy can lose there!"

" Black Plauge thou maloderous lummox!" I let them go an' Bloodscream drags Roughouse away. Now why would Black Plauge send those two after me? Wait it must be that punk Cain that works for him. I 'm gonna break Reper's scrawny little neck!